Category: Place of sanity!

Have a good positive, sanity mind by reading my blogs. You are healthy if you mind is healthy:)

Is it hard to open up?

“Feelings that come back are feelings that never left.” – Frank Ocean

I am someone who is not very good at expressing myself in front of people. I like to keep things to myself in my head especially if it involves feelings. Recently I thought, is it hard to open up to people about feelings or thoughts. Now every person is different and some have someone they can talk to while others don’t. And even people who have someone don’t know how to open up. I feel like I am in the category of not talking about my feelings at all because my mouth just gives up. I felt that it was me who didn’t want to open up but it’s just that words don’t find me. It takes a lot of courage to open up to someone you know will understand you after you know your inner feelings. You are not just opening up your feelings you are opening up your soul and that is the biggest asset one has so opening up is definitely very hard even with the right person. Opening up needs a lot of courage because first, you need to accept yourself as you are which takes a lot of strength. Because it is hard to see yourself in the eyes of others when you, yourself have not accepted the way you are.

I am a good listener and I feel like I would let the person pour it’s feelings out the way they want and I would never try to change their feelings or would put them in a position where they should not have thought of that at all. Every feeling is relevant and every person should get the time to evolve through them which I think is very important. It is hard to open up especially if you, yourself are in a mind of confusion and can’t figure out how to speak. I feel why it is hard because I don’t know how to explain things, I don’t want to see the aftermath, I don’t want to put my burden on someone else, I don’t want someone to make me feel about how irrelevant I am about feelings. I just want someone to stay outside the door and let me open the door to lightness. I want someone to let me know that every feeling has the right to be expressed. I want someone to extend their hand and wait because I want myself to come out and hold that hand.

“Have patience, heart.”

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Remember when…

Nostalgia

a sentimental or wistful yearning for the happiness felt in a former place, time, or situation

Please allow me to take you back in time with this post. I have been thinking about writing this post for a while and finally got the right chance. I was not somebody who used to get emotional or connected to memories often, however, it all changed after I made a friend almost 10 years ago, we got really close 6 years ago and since then she has been the person who always makes me remember all the good times. As an adult it is nice to say back in our days we used to do this, we used to eat this, and in such a small amount we used to get so much.

Remember when we had to wait an entire day to talk to our friends? Remember when nothing like getting bored was invented? Remember when playing outside was a big pleasure? Remember when walking in your school corridor made you feel like royalty? Remember when homework was hard as Google never existed in a student’s life? Remember when phone games were a thing? Remember when we used to stay in front of the TV turning on the music channel and waiting for our favorite song to play? Remember when we used to record songs by keeping the phone in front of the TV speaker? Remember when the weekend felt like a whole reset? Remember when days do feel like days? Remember when stress and anxiety were never a thing? Remember when we used to wait for our favourite show to come? Remember when we have to memorize the channel number? Remember when having a CD was a premium? Remember when we used to eat sneakily in the classroom? Remember when social media did not even exist? Remember all the good times that we want to relive again. Alas! Those days will never come back but memories will forever be stored in the heart and to relive them just begin with a sentence remember when…

Memories are stitched with love.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Is it easy to let go?

Don’t let something that’s long gone continue to control you. It’s time to let go.

Is it easy to let go? I have been asking myself this question lately and my perception of it is unclear. There are things in my life that I never wanted to let go but I had to and at some point, it did bother me and I know it will continue to linger in my mind. I am still figuring out how to consider it a valuable lesson rather than a burden of not fighting for it enough. Life is about letting go of things but holding onto what it taught us. In this way, we can learn how to look at the positive side and find things that are truly for us. There are moments in life when we are reminded of things that we thought we were meant to have but life happened. If my emotions are all over the place I feel miserable about things that I was supposed to have and live them then I look at the mirror and see how empty-handed I am in real life. It is not easy to let go because dreams are shattered and that hurts a lot. According to me having a dream is a beautiful vision or the worst nightmare because there are only two options: do it or let it go. Letting go of things that we imagined ourselves in the future is so tough because in every step we are reminded of what we have to let go to achieve. It is easy to sacrifice for our dreams but it is miserable to sacrifice our dreams for something we never dreamed of.

Take your time in processing things that were left unsaid and unachievable. I know it is hard to let go but we learn how to let it go. Take your moments, mourn about it and then think maybe there is something better than it, life needs you to sacrifice now to give you a big surprise later. I got this, you got this, and we got this okay?

I hope you learn how to let go.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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It’s Never Too Late…

there is still time for you to be all that you want to be

You know it’s never too late to start anything. The saying of people that you need to achieve something by this particular age now seems absolutely ridiculous. We don’t know what will happen in the next second in life and here people are saying that by this age you should achieve this. I love seeing myself as a person who is still in the process of developing and learning more about myself and life. One of the best lessons I have learned till today is that there is no final version of myself, I am a person with an endless draft and I will continue to be a person that doesn’t need a finish line to grow. I was not someone who had a dream of becoming something in my childhood however later I did realize what I love to do and I started learning about the same. I was never first or active in discovering things about myself but that doesn’t mean I never discovered it. It’s never too late to start something, it is okay if one thing doesn’t work out, you can start again. But this time with a lot of experience and learning.

I am writing this with the experience that age is all an illusion its all about you and your mind, if you want then you can. It is never too late to discover your dream, start, find yourself, get up, learn about new beginnings, and become the best version of yourself. Life will always flow like water, it won’t stop. Just like that things will happen in your life that will make you realize that it is up to you how to control the waves rather than letting them control you. In life, nothing is constant things will go up and down all the time but there is nothing like it’s too late for anything...

This year choose yourself

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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‘The more hard I work the more pathetic I look’

One year from now, I want to be able to look back and say, “Damn, I really did believe in myself and it worked.”

I recently heard a quote that changed my life trajectory, “The more hard I work the more pathetic I look.” After hearing it I could not stop thinking about it, it keeps running in my mind and opens the past memories of my life that are very much related to that quote. I have seen people in my life who don’t need to work so hard but are still able to get everything right which by the way is absolutely great, however when I looked at myself I just knew how much I try I just can’t reach where I always thought I would be. I used to be so hurt because I thought why can’t I do what most people can do? I gave my hundred percent yet still, I never met with the result I always thought I would get. The thing that I loved about growing up was that I knew myself and I knew how much I could do that would make me happy and that’s a relief. Throughout my entire childhood, I was a child with no ambition, I could not do good drawing, crafts, and things that made people around me superior to myself. Now that I look back, I definitely feel that I survived.

The quote made me realize how far I have come in my life. I have learned that the best thing is when you finally get to see the part of yourself that truly makes you feel that you are your biggest gift. It is never too late for anything, it is okay if you discover your dream later there is nothing wrong with it. There will be a time when you will feel that life is not paying you for the amount of work you are doing. However, remember after every storm there is rain and after every rain, there is a rainbow waiting to sparkle its magic on you.

I choose to believe in myself

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Reminiscing School Days

And the one fine day,

we took off

our school uniform

and never wore it back

Another thing you guys need to know about me is that I am a sucker for high school drama especially Chinese dramas because they in my opinion do it the best. I don’t care about the storyline or the characters because I just want to see the high school; the classroom, the friendship, the exams, the scolding, the teachers, and the vibe. Through these Chinese high school dramas, I relive my school life. Legit I was watching a high school drama the other day and I told my best friend that I just miss my high school corridors, I miss waking up in the morning for my school, I love stepping into the classroom, and I love seeing my friends face light up when the whole group gets together. All my fellow people who understand me might imagine how much I am missing my school life right now. A guilty confession of mine is that I was that kid who would say in my last year of high school that I would not miss my school and here I am writing this post, well nice choice of words you have used past me. Even though studies are a huge factor for students, we still possess a carefree attitude. I still remember how happy I was in school, maybe because the word ‘future’ remained unknown to me. All I cared about was the present moments of my school life. Now as an adult, there are not many restrictions, however, my life feels the opposite of carefree because the future has made me very well aware of its existence. Seriously I am so grateful to have beautiful memories of my school that I will cherish forever.

This post was supposed to be a review of a Chinese high school drama however my emotions went through and I got lost in my sentimental feelings that I didn’t even realise when this post became a post in itself so here I am posting it and the next post will be the drama review so stay tuned for that.

The backbenchers,

the high-school lovers,

and the class toppers;

Now, in different parts of the country;

their class photograph still held them together.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Happy Ending…???

She promised herself better and never looked back.

Can we ever have a happy ending? Will we ever be at that stage where we are content and happy from the inside? Will there be a time in our lives when we sleep peacefully at night without stressing about what the next day will bring? Will there be a day when we will cheerfully wake up to see the sunrise and have tea with inner happiness? Randomly staring at the view in front of us without thinking what the day is going to look like, without thinking what kind of work I need to do today, without thinking how much I have to do? What are my deadlines? Just being content and happy, I have realised there is no price to it. It’s priceless as no amount of money can buy those moments and we can only achieve it in a way that will first break us thousands and millions of times. I don’t know and I think nobody knows how the road or the path will be but I do know that if you want to achieve you can and will. I don’t know how but this thought went through my mind while watching a video where there was a happy ending but the third time I was thinking will I ever be able to have a happy ending in my life? Will I ever be satisfied and content? I think yes definitely I will, I mean I am going to work for it and I know you are too going to work for your happiness. I hope until then I continue to blog and when I start to feel my life is getting better, I am achieving things I want to achieve, and I am happy and content then I will share those moments with you all.

You will get your happy ending trust me, not now maybe but I believe you can achieve everything you ever dreamed of. Take the first step, trust me it’s the most crucial step. Otherwise, how would you know how capable you are of so many things you want in your life to achieve a happy ending?

Keep watering yourself, you’re growing

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Review: ‘Mouse’ K-drama (2021)

“Please God, don’t make me a monster.”

“Look at me now. God! Why didn’t you answer my prayer? From this day, I will become the Almighty God!” – Mouse

I am literally sighing while writing the review of this K-drama because it still gives me goosebumps whenever I think about how my emotions went through when I watched this drama. If you have been around for a while you might know I am a huge thriller girly and have read and watched a lot of crazy kinds of stuff. However, this drama OMG has made me realize how much I still need to explore. The ‘Mouse’ is a thriller K-drama that shows the story of a rookie police officer, Jeong Ba-reum who is very much dedicated to his work, however, his life changes when he comes across a psychopath. So he goes on a mission to find him with his partner Go Moo-chi.

As it is a thriller, many twists take place in every episode and it comes out of nowhere. This drama makes you feel like you have figured everything out but no it will prove you wrong. Even when the biggest plot twist took place and I made my theory, however, I was so wrong. I never imagined it to be like that. I was legit gasping and staring at the wall because of what I just watched. This drama truly sheds light on who the real psychopaths are and how they are always in the facade. The plot line is so mind-blowing, I was fully engaged in what was about to come.

The acting was top-notch, especially Jeong Ba-reum, he played his role too well and it still creeps me out whenever I remember him in the drama. I would say there is a lot to this drama, even when you find the biggest spoiler online still there is a lot you will only figure out if you watch the drama. This thriller drama made me realize we truly should not believe a person based on their looks, we never know what they can be from inside. So I will say this drama will give you trust issues about everything.

The ending episodes and ending not only bring a thriller but a lot of tears as well, I still remember how wrong I was about everything and the aftermath of emotions I felt. There are a lot of scenes where I feel like it hit me so much in my heart about how much a person has to go through in order to become someone they themselves don’t want to become, a monster.

My Rating: 10/10

Total Episodes: 20

Genre: Crime thriller, Action, Suspense, and Mystery

“A psychopath who just saved the bird to kill it with his own hands.”

Important: This thriller K-drama is highly sensitive and very disturbing scenes are involved. So I request to people if they want to watch it please please look at the trigger warnings and then proceed.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Why is life not magical ANYMORE?

Stop waiting for Friday, for summer, for someone to fall in love with you, for life. Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it and make the most of the moment you are in now.

Why do you think your childhood was magical? Because you were a child no! Because you were present at that moment because you lived in that moment. My childhood was amazing, I was an athletic child who loved to play 24/7, I can’t believe I am that same person but again as we grow up the line gets blurry between real enjoyment where you feel content from inside and the one where you have to pretend you are happy. In childhood, the biggest stress was all about marks, that’s it. And now when I think about how my childhood passed and imagine how she would be feeling about how the older me is doing is kinda crazy to me right now. The biggest dream in childhood was to become an adult and then we could do everything, how many lies there were? I don’t know why I did not meet any grown-ups in my childhood who had told their adult stories which would make me aware that adult life is deranged. Maybe now it has become crazy and it is safe to say that as time passes by the world is becoming crazier.

So why can’t adult life be magical? I mean I am the same person, right? I am the same person but now I have seen the world in its not so glory, I have seen the real world, the world where I need to work in a way that makes me want to become a child again. As an adult, we are always either anxious about our future or regretting our past, and this is one of the reasons why we fail to live in the present. I know overthinking is a part of adult life, but you are doing your best. We adults need someone who can tell us it’s okay if something goes wrong, and live in the present. Life will always have ups and downs but we have to find the little happiness embedded in them. The present is what we have, and the future is going to be okay, you are going to do it, believe me. Live a little and life will become magical again.

“The best preparation for the future is to live as if there were none.” – Albert Einstein

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Untitled feelings.

Stillness. Quiet. Solitude. Fresh air. Finding my rest.

The thing I want to get over is the feeling of nothing. When my feelings are all over the place nothing can bring me comfort, no movies, shows, books nothing the more I try to do something the more I feel empty. And honestly, that scares me a lot because those feelings last for a long time and I can do nothing about it. Only time can heal me, I need to feel more sad, I need to think about it until it’s over and that is how I cope with those feelings. Life becomes crazier when you grow up and let me tell you it will not even let you breathe for a second and something is already knocking on your door. The feelings are tough to seek out because they are deep-rooted in your soul and never leave you, it’s all about knowing how to manage them. I never knew it was possible to feel so many feelings at once and at the same time no feelings at all. I have learned that how you react to them is more important and it will lead to how it will affect you emotionally. The game about feelings is that it will come at the most unexpected time and will make you feel so numb. Like sitting in a group of people you are talking happily and something triggers you and you can feel the smile slipping away. I have learned that it is all in you, the second you learn to control your feelings the stronger you get.

I am not telling you to become emotionless or void of any feelings. No, it is totally fine to feel as many feelings as you want. It is okay you are human and we are meant to feel every feeling and each feeling is void. I am telling you that sometimes it’s alright to step back and rest, to let your feelings seek out themselves, to let the time heal you, and it is alright if there is nothing that can work out at that time. Everything will be okay, you are strong, and you are a warrior who just needs a time break to seek out untitled feelings.

alone or not you gotta walk forward

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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