Tag: choas of life

Random Thoughts…

It’s the little things, always.

I am someone who would sit for hours just looking outside and thinking about my life. And this has been happening a lot lately. A thought ran through my mind about how much my life has changed, and for the better. In childhood, I literally wouldn’t have imagined myself being where I am right now. Honestly, I am too grateful to be here and to be able to do things that I imagined myself not being able to. When I think about how fast my life has changed, I still can’t believe it. Doing something that once was impossible feels so great, especially for someone like me who thought that I was not good at anything. When I even read my old blog posts, I can see how much I have grown. Once what I talked about happened, and now what I am talking about, I will come back to read and feel nostalgic about my past. So many random thoughts keep coming into my mind all the time, especially about myself and my growth. I love to think about my life every now and then, and to be honest, it brings me joy thinking about how much I have grown. Definitely, there are many things that I wouldn’t like to have in my life; however, I am grateful for every small thing. It’s always the small things that make me fully happy and grateful. I don’t know why, but I have been noticing small things bring me more joy, maybe because it’s always the same small things that make a huge difference. I always try to do better and better so that my confidence and my courage keep me at ease. These kinds of thoughts come to my mind when I am deeply lost in my thoughts, and I need to jot them down so that I know my feelings. This post is one of them, and I know many more are to come.

for your own peace, let things be.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Freedom.

She was better than happy. She was free.

The word itself speaks for itself. As an adult, what I realised the most is how important freedom is. Freedom allows you to do everything, even the aspect of money comes secondary to it. In my bucket list, I have a wish to randomly book a ticket to the most random place without much thinking and experience it. Because I believe the most spontaneous and random memories are the most cherished ones. Freedom to do anything, this is such an expensive sentence because it comes with a cost of sacrificing so many things to get to this point. As a girl, for me, freedom is to do anything at any time in life. There should never be a pattern in which I have to do a particular thing at a particular time. It’s my life, and whenever I feel like doing something, I will do it. Free from responsibilities, free from expectations, free from feelings about others also plays a huge role in allowing the freedom to come. I feel like it’s all about not having to answer someone ‘what’ and ‘why’ you are doing a particular thing, going somewhere, or choosing whatever you like to do. When I think about freedom, I think about myself at the top of the mountain with my face filled with a smile like I never smiled before, spreading my hands and having no thought in my mind except how lucky I am to be able to experience this. I want to fly like I want to touch the sky, I want to swim as if I will reach the end, I want to scream as everyone hears, and I want to live as no one has ever lived. Freedom is expensive in the sense that once you taste it, there is no going back, and I hope this reaches each one of you. Your freedom is the most important thing to exist because it will allow you to think for yourself and get the strength to create a life that you always wanted and deserved.

The power of freedom is greater than any force.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Here’s to everything better.

The best is going on and the better is coming. – MA

The first post of 2026 is here on the third day of the year. Yes, this is 2026, and we are 26 years in the 21st century, crazy isn’t it? 2025 was the year of growth and unexpected things, and I hope that 2026 will be the same. What I think is way better is to not keep expectations and go with the flow, which makes everything better. I think in my life everything happened so fast because I never kept any expectations and went with the flow, which, by the way, was not intentional. I wasn’t able to find what I really like and what I want to do with my life. Now I want to do everything that I possibly can. What I learned is that every opportunity is a new learning and beginning that I would not like to give up. I want to remind myself that there are endless opportunities in the world for me, and I would like to experience each one of them. It’s hard to think about it; however, I feel like I underestimate myself now, and I don’t want to. I want to grow, I want to learn new things, I want to explore, I want to experience as many things as I want, I just don’t want to be stopped. That’s my motto for life. I think it’s time for us to reflect on how much we have accomplished, how much better we have become at things, how much courage we have, how much we have underestimated ourselves, and how much we deserve to love ourselves. If there are many situations in life where we feel like we are failing, it’s okay to remember that there are also many positive moments. Whenever I feel down, I remember how much I have fought and how much I have done. So it’s okay, take the time and everything will get better, and it does. So here’s to everything better, everything bigger, and everything happier.

As long as you’re trying to do better, better is going to come.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Somethings are worth waiting for!

There is a seat waiting for you at tables you haven’t even seen.

When we get something after doing hard work, we actually feel satisfied and take it very seriously. I do believe that satisfaction after achieving something in life comes with a lot of patience. Sometimes life tests our patience and makes us work hard for it, but after getting it, we do feel satisfied. When I talk about myself, I was a very introverted child with no passion or interest. But now I look at myself, I am doing so well and all by myself. I definitely worked really hard to get here, and it was worth waiting for. It is so important in life to be grateful for things that we already have or for the things we are achieving. I always wanted to do things that bring me happiness from inside, and I think it is taking time. Obviously, because it is something I have been manifesting for a long time. It is also said that beautiful things take time, as it makes us feel that the efforts we have put in are worth every minute. For every single thing, there is a wait in life. Nothing comes without waiting. And I try to be grateful for the same, that at least I have the opportunity to at least try something, and maybe it will work out. While writing this post, an image is made in my mind of how it feels when we achieve something that we have been desiring for a long time. And after achieving it, everything around us gets blurred, and we get numbed. I feel like this feeling is rare, and it comes after waiting for something really worthy. I would always say that Universal has a better plan than we do; we just need to have patience and believe. The more I have grown, the more I believe in the plan and time of the universe. If it’s right, it’s going to happen no matter what, and I think this has helped me be strong mentally. So don’t worry, everything is going to be worth a while.

Every wait, has a worth.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Balance

In between goals is a thing called life.

That has to be lived and enjoyed.

Recently, I have been so busy with my life, and honestly, it’s not the worst, as I am still trying to find the balance between my work and life. It’s all about priorities, as I talked before, I know I want to get these things done in a day, and I can, as they are all my priorities. When people used to talk about the importance of maintaining a work-life balance, I now understand it. According to me, the balance is maintained when I have two peaceful hours to watch a movie without rushing to finish it. It is important that I give myself the time to sleep peacefully and eat without rushing because health matters the most. I feel like how you make and spend your time matters the most. There is a lot of time, but only when we know how to use it properly. That’s what I am learning. If I look at my day, it’s hectic, but all my tasks are completed without rushing. And I also know sometimes I will be in a rush, but that’s okay, I know I am going to handle it. When I think about life, I think about how all humans have to work just to survive and live in this world. It’s crazy thinking that we don’t live for free but pay with everything, including our mental health. A few years ago, I was dealing with the worst balance in my life. As I wanted things to be done without caring about my mental health as well as my physical health, and at first I didn’t realise how much I was suffering. But later, everything went downhill, and it is also so hard to get back in shape, especially if you are mentally drained. That’s how I was, and I am sure most were in this situation and probably still are. But let me tell you something that I personally learned: everything that goes will return, but you can’t say the same things about health, especially mental. So, like I understood that it’s okay if we take a break, nothing major is going to happen, and if it happens, let it happen. What matters the most is our health, and that’s all. So if you are struggling a lot with not knowing how to balance, just leave everything for some time and find the peace that your mind needs.

My well-being is just as important as my work.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Start of something…

It is okay to be scared. Being scared means you are about to do something really, really brave.

The start of something is always scary, no matter how professional you are. Because it comes with a lot of new things like people, surroundings, objectives, goals, and expectations. I recently started something new, and to be honest, I didn’t really know how I was feeling, but I do know that I will be able to do justice. Well, now I can only say that it is inevitable to make mistakes and that’s totally okay. How are you going to do better if you won’t make mistakes and correct them better the next time? You need to start somewhere to reach somewhere; that’s the mindset I keep. I used to believe everything was scary and still believe it, but learning new things begins with mistakes. And it’s okay, I think we were never really told that everyone makes mistakes in the beginning, and that’s how they learn. When I talk about my experience, everything in my life happened so fast that sometimes I need to snap back and realise how fast I have come. Every now and then, I am starting something new or looking to start, and there is always a thought of what if I am not able to do it. But that’s something that will always come, no matter how much experience I have. And I need to start somewhere so that I know what I want in my life. Life is all about experiences, so for that, we need to start somewhere, no matter how scary it is. When we go blind in something, obviously, it’s going to be scary, but here we have to trust our guts, mind, and our capabilities. I know at first everything looks scary, but once I start, I rock it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes. It’s impossible to learn something new without making any mistakes. So if you are doubting whether you should start something and feeling really scared, I would say it won’t go away before starting. You need to start, you need to do it, no matter how scary it is at first, everything is scary, but that doesn’t mean you are not able to do it. You can, because you are made for that opportunity as it comes to you. Be strong and do it, regardless of how scary it is.

The scariest moment is always just before you start.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Blank.

mind full of unsaid things

Blank when you are doing so many things, you are moving on with your life, but still feel nothing. From inside, you are feeling nothing, you don’t feel that you are moving forward, you don’t feel like yourself. I am so flabbergasted that, as adults, we go through so many feelings, and on top of that, we don’t even know what to do to make ourselves feel better. I am currently in a blank phase where the world around me is moving, and I am moving; however, inside me, I feel so empty, as if I have been standing in the same spot for a long time. I don’t even know how to make myself feel better because my thinking has also stopped, like I can’t think about anything. When you feel so much, when you know how to write down your thoughts but can’t do it is the most frustrating feeling ever, and I am going through it right now. Nothing is bringing me excitement; I feel like I am in my robotic phase, where I am on a roll but without my mind thinking. Time is what I need to overcome it slowly, as I am giving it, as I know myself the best. But at the same time, I think that a human goes through so many feelings that bring out different aspects in their lives. As someone who can’t express her feelings well, I just know it is difficult, but with time, everything gets better. This is my escape, this page where I express myself and connect with you all. I feel like there has to be something for someone for times like when lives get too heavy, they can retreat back to what they like to do and give their mind and heart a break to heal. I am sure I will be fine, and it’s part of life, and I am sure you will be fine as well. Remember, with time, everything passes slowly, painfully, but it does. I hope you don’t give up what you love doing, you are way stronger than you think you are. So hold on and give time to heal again.

I don’t really understand this stage of my life.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Raw feelings…

Being a person who feels things deeply is exhausting.

I was sitting in the middle of the chaos, but my heart was so empty that the outside chaos couldn’t stir the chaos in my heart. These are my thoughts when I was sitting between kids running around and just living their lives. And this brought me back to my time as a child. I was a child who lived fully. I played my heart out and never worried about my future or what I would be once I grew up. Now, when I look at myself, I have grown a lot in a lot of ways. I was a child who never believed that I could stand up on the stage and speak a few things, that I could overcome any challenges, or that I could ever achieve things. But as for where I am today, I can proudly say I am doing everything that I was made to believe that I couldn’t do. I feel like, as I have gotten older, I have gotten really quiet, but I have a raging storm in me that I don’t know how to express. But at certain times, I feel like nothing, no matter what is happening around me, I feel empty inside. I don’t know how to express myself, especially my feelings, which are so intense that I feel nothing, leaving me feeling empty from the inside. This makes me believe that every feeling is valid, and it’s okay to feel nothing when everything becomes intense. Everyone has different ways in which they deal with their feelings. For me, it’s to give it time and let it flow; otherwise, I can’t function properly. Also, I need to think about my feelings, I need to observe my surroundings and express how it makes me feel, and one of the reasons why I am here is to express my raw feelings.

I wrote this post in the situation, so it came really raw. I hope whoever is reading this post is okay, and that it’s okay to deal with feelings that make you feel nothing inside. Everything will work out eventually.

It’s okay. To feel all the feels.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Doubt ruins everything

Self doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

I came across some of William Shakespeare’s quotes from his plays, and one of them really stood out to me: “Doubt kills everything, and ruins the best within us.” I always used to believe that I needed to be good at it naturally and that I would achieve it. But it never crosses my mind that I need to try to know if I can do it, and if not, then I can learn. There is this theory that I was studying the other day by Howard Gardner, where he says that intelligence doesn’t only come in academics but also in linguistic, musical, spatial and many more.

And that’s so true, but the doubt that comes before starting anything literally kills everything. I know at this point in my life, I have done so many things, some worked out while others didn’t, and that’s okay, but I learned so many things. If I let doubt take over my mind, I wouldn’t be mentally strong enough to achieve things further in my life. Remember, every moment and every opportunity is a step towards better things. We will be learning every single day in our lives; it is a phase that will never be over.

So, doubt before even trying is a big cause of losing so many things. Don’t be afraid to try new things; it will bring you so much confidence, and it will help you see yourself in a light where you can do so many things. It’s all the game of mind, how you look at things, and how you allow yourself to look past the doubts and take the step. I know it’s not easy to make up your mind and look past the doubt; however, ask yourself questions: if you took this opportunity, what would you be going to lose? Instead, you are going to learn. The first step towards learning is accepting the challenges and just doing it.

You need to make yourself and your mind stronger. You can do many things; it’s the doubt that ruins everything, so remember, before the doubt ruins it, you get over it.

You can do hard things.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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living our own life?

Your heart knows the way. Run in that direction.

Everybody pretty much talked about the responsibility of adulthood, the job, the financial situation; however, nobody talked about how, amidst that, it will be so hard to live our lives. There are so many responsibilities that an adult carries; however, we have to look at everything. However, what about living our own lives? I have come to reflect on how little time we get for ourselves; it’s mostly taken up by others and their responsibility. I always heard while growing up that responsibility is like a curse that will slowly take you under its spell, and you will not realise it when it happens.

There are so many moments in my life where I just wanted a minute of peace just for myself, but I didn’t know it would be so hard. The hardest thing is that it all comes down suddenly in the middle of the day, and it takes weeks for me to recover my mind and be my usual self. This is my life, but I have to look at so many aspects that I sometimes forget how much I am suffering in the process. I want to work on myself and just myself. I want to take just my responsibility and create the life that I deserve.

I just realised how important it is to move and go to another place because that’s how you create your own life, take care of yourself, and find your personality. At first, I used to think it was scary moving to an unknown place, but now I have realised the person you become in an unknown place is the strongest and the happiest version of yourself. You find yourself, you don’t have to think about others, you just focus on what makes you happy, and honestly, that’s beautiful to live through. It’s your life, so you should be able to make decisions that you feel are right because in the end, it’s you that matters, nobody else.

Live where your hearts find life.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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