Start of something…

It is okay to be scared. Being scared means you are about to do something really, really brave.

The start of something is always scary, no matter how professional you are. Because it comes with a lot of new things like people, surroundings, objectives, goals, and expectations. I recently started something new, and to be honest, I didn’t really know how I was feeling, but I do know that I will be able to do justice. Well, now I can only say that it is inevitable to make mistakes and that’s totally okay. How are you going to do better if you won’t make mistakes and correct them better the next time? You need to start somewhere to reach somewhere; that’s the mindset I keep. I used to believe everything was scary and still believe it, but learning new things begins with mistakes. And it’s okay, I think we were never really told that everyone makes mistakes in the beginning, and that’s how they learn. When I talk about my experience, everything in my life happened so fast that sometimes I need to snap back and realise how fast I have come. Every now and then, I am starting something new or looking to start, and there is always a thought of what if I am not able to do it. But that’s something that will always come, no matter how much experience I have. And I need to start somewhere so that I know what I want in my life. Life is all about experiences, so for that, we need to start somewhere, no matter how scary it is. When we go blind in something, obviously, it’s going to be scary, but here we have to trust our guts, mind, and our capabilities. I know at first everything looks scary, but once I start, I rock it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes. It’s impossible to learn something new without making any mistakes. So if you are doubting whether you should start something and feeling really scared, I would say it won’t go away before starting. You need to start, you need to do it, no matter how scary it is at first, everything is scary, but that doesn’t mean you are not able to do it. You can, because you are made for that opportunity as it comes to you. Be strong and do it, regardless of how scary it is.

The scariest moment is always just before you start.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Blank.

mind full of unsaid things

Blank when you are doing so many things, you are moving on with your life, but still feel nothing. From inside, you are feeling nothing, you don’t feel that you are moving forward, you don’t feel like yourself. I am so flabbergasted that, as adults, we go through so many feelings, and on top of that, we don’t even know what to do to make ourselves feel better. I am currently in a blank phase where the world around me is moving, and I am moving; however, inside me, I feel so empty, as if I have been standing in the same spot for a long time. I don’t even know how to make myself feel better because my thinking has also stopped, like I can’t think about anything. When you feel so much, when you know how to write down your thoughts but can’t do it is the most frustrating feeling ever, and I am going through it right now. Nothing is bringing me excitement; I feel like I am in my robotic phase, where I am on a roll but without my mind thinking. Time is what I need to overcome it slowly, as I am giving it, as I know myself the best. But at the same time, I think that a human goes through so many feelings that bring out different aspects in their lives. As someone who can’t express her feelings well, I just know it is difficult, but with time, everything gets better. This is my escape, this page where I express myself and connect with you all. I feel like there has to be something for someone for times like when lives get too heavy, they can retreat back to what they like to do and give their mind and heart a break to heal. I am sure I will be fine, and it’s part of life, and I am sure you will be fine as well. Remember, with time, everything passes slowly, painfully, but it does. I hope you don’t give up what you love doing, you are way stronger than you think you are. So hold on and give time to heal again.

I don’t really understand this stage of my life.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Raw feelings…

Being a person who feels things deeply is exhausting.

I was sitting in the middle of the chaos, but my heart was so empty that the outside chaos couldn’t stir the chaos in my heart. These are my thoughts when I was sitting between kids running around and just living their lives. And this brought me back to my time as a child. I was a child who lived fully. I played my heart out and never worried about my future or what I would be once I grew up. Now, when I look at myself, I have grown a lot in a lot of ways. I was a child who never believed that I could stand up on the stage and speak a few things, that I could overcome any challenges, or that I could ever achieve things. But as for where I am today, I can proudly say I am doing everything that I was made to believe that I couldn’t do. I feel like, as I have gotten older, I have gotten really quiet, but I have a raging storm in me that I don’t know how to express. But at certain times, I feel like nothing, no matter what is happening around me, I feel empty inside. I don’t know how to express myself, especially my feelings, which are so intense that I feel nothing, leaving me feeling empty from the inside. This makes me believe that every feeling is valid, and it’s okay to feel nothing when everything becomes intense. Everyone has different ways in which they deal with their feelings. For me, it’s to give it time and let it flow; otherwise, I can’t function properly. Also, I need to think about my feelings, I need to observe my surroundings and express how it makes me feel, and one of the reasons why I am here is to express my raw feelings.

I wrote this post in the situation, so it came really raw. I hope whoever is reading this post is okay, and that it’s okay to deal with feelings that make you feel nothing inside. Everything will work out eventually.

It’s okay. To feel all the feels.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Doubt ruins everything

Self doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

I came across some of William Shakespeare’s quotes from his plays, and one of them really stood out to me: “Doubt kills everything, and ruins the best within us.” I always used to believe that I needed to be good at it naturally and that I would achieve it. But it never crosses my mind that I need to try to know if I can do it, and if not, then I can learn. There is this theory that I was studying the other day by Howard Gardner, where he says that intelligence doesn’t only come in academics but also in linguistic, musical, spatial and many more.

And that’s so true, but the doubt that comes before starting anything literally kills everything. I know at this point in my life, I have done so many things, some worked out while others didn’t, and that’s okay, but I learned so many things. If I let doubt take over my mind, I wouldn’t be mentally strong enough to achieve things further in my life. Remember, every moment and every opportunity is a step towards better things. We will be learning every single day in our lives; it is a phase that will never be over.

So, doubt before even trying is a big cause of losing so many things. Don’t be afraid to try new things; it will bring you so much confidence, and it will help you see yourself in a light where you can do so many things. It’s all the game of mind, how you look at things, and how you allow yourself to look past the doubts and take the step. I know it’s not easy to make up your mind and look past the doubt; however, ask yourself questions: if you took this opportunity, what would you be going to lose? Instead, you are going to learn. The first step towards learning is accepting the challenges and just doing it.

You need to make yourself and your mind stronger. You can do many things; it’s the doubt that ruins everything, so remember, before the doubt ruins it, you get over it.

You can do hard things.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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living our own life?

Your heart knows the way. Run in that direction.

Everybody pretty much talked about the responsibility of adulthood, the job, the financial situation; however, nobody talked about how, amidst that, it will be so hard to live our lives. There are so many responsibilities that an adult carries; however, we have to look at everything. However, what about living our own lives? I have come to reflect on how little time we get for ourselves; it’s mostly taken up by others and their responsibility. I always heard while growing up that responsibility is like a curse that will slowly take you under its spell, and you will not realise it when it happens.

There are so many moments in my life where I just wanted a minute of peace just for myself, but I didn’t know it would be so hard. The hardest thing is that it all comes down suddenly in the middle of the day, and it takes weeks for me to recover my mind and be my usual self. This is my life, but I have to look at so many aspects that I sometimes forget how much I am suffering in the process. I want to work on myself and just myself. I want to take just my responsibility and create the life that I deserve.

I just realised how important it is to move and go to another place because that’s how you create your own life, take care of yourself, and find your personality. At first, I used to think it was scary moving to an unknown place, but now I have realised the person you become in an unknown place is the strongest and the happiest version of yourself. You find yourself, you don’t have to think about others, you just focus on what makes you happy, and honestly, that’s beautiful to live through. It’s your life, so you should be able to make decisions that you feel are right because in the end, it’s you that matters, nobody else.

Live where your hearts find life.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Post-Graduated and Proud!

“Graduation is an exciting time. It marks both an ending and a beginning; it’s warm memories of the past and big dreams for the future.”

Knowledge is everything, and the more you learn, the more you have the power to defend and put your point across. Yesterday I got my results, and finally I am a postgraduate. Two years ago, I posted that I was a graduate, and now I am a level up. I also shared that I received my first-ever trophy for academics, and this all happened because I believed in myself.

These past two years, and even before that, a lot has happened in my life; the decisions about what to do next in life are so hard to make, especially when you are confused. However, after so many years just going with the flow, I finally did what I loved, and here I am, proud and happy. My post-graduation was definitely a big learning curve for me as I grew so much, starting to give presentations, doing research, writing pages, and just taking up new challenges which the younger me had never thought I would do.

My life has changed a lot, obviously. Apart from my growing age, I can’t believe I am the same person who used to be so scared of doing things; I am actually doing it. I am happy, and I am definitely content with my result. Definitely, I am feeling so grateful that I can reach such a step in my life and share it with the world. There are many things I want to do ahead, take on new challenges, and see myself grow more and more.

I know it’s frightening to move ahead after closing a chapter; however, I am so excited because I know where I am ahead, and I can’t wait to be there. So, of those who are about to close one of their many chapters or are about to begin a new chapter, all the best. You can do it, just believe in yourself, and you have a way through.

“Today is a milestone. It tells you how far you’ve come. Keep learning, keep accomplishing and keep venturing on through your journey.”

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Limit.

“What are you?”

“To define is to limit.” – Oscar Wilde

I love to read my old blog posts once in a while, and I came across my review for the Oh My Venus K-drama. And there is a quote in the drama that says, “If you’re hanging in there, you haven’t reached your limit.” And boom, I am here with my thoughts on it.

Let me keep it real with you all, I always underestimated myself, and people would come and say you could have done it, but you already decided you couldn’t. And now, at this stage where I am handling so much, I know I underestimated myself. We never truly know our potential until we give it all.

We have to test out limits, we have to take the risk and just do it. If it works, that’s amazing; if not, we are learning, and that’s what matters. Nobody really knows what they are made to do in this world; all of them have taken risks, tested their limits to reach where they are now.

If I want to create a life for myself, I need to break all the limits that I have created for myself in my mind. Nobody does that. I do it; I put limits in my mind about how I can’t do it. But how could I know that unless I have not even tried?

My goal is to take as many challenges as I can, irrespective of the result. I want to grow, and I want to learn, and that will happen when I push all of my limits and just do it. I never really knew that after giving my all, I might even conquer the world, and that’s what I want to do.

So in life, there will be moments where we just want to quit, and that’s okay and totally normal. Everyone deserves a break, but if you are hanging in there and you are okay, that means there is so much you have to do, there is so much waiting and calling your name.

You don’t have limits; if it’s all up to you, push yourself ahead. Do what scares you, because once an opportunity goes, it will never come back. So don’t create a limit in your mind beforehand until you don’t do it, you don’t try it, everything is limitless.

The sky is the limit.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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It’s okay to slow down.

You will find your way, even when it feels like you won’t.

I have been telling myself lately that it’s okay to slow down, and the only thing that is keeping me sane. You know when you reach a level where you are doing so much but are unable to see the result, yes, that’s where I am. I want to fly so high, but whenever I feel like I am about to touch the sky, it moves far away, and I start feeling that maybe flying high is not written in my destiny. I have been in a phase which makes me so proud to see how far I have come, but also in a phase where I am unable to be proud of myself; it feels like there is always something that pulls me back. I’m experiencing a range of emotions, but at the same time, I feel nothing; this is my standard status for so many years. And I let my emotions flow within me. If I am not feeling well mentally, then I won’t force myself to do anything, and that’s how I feel better. I always remind myself that my health is more important than anything, and if it makes me slow down, then it’s totally okay. Actually, everybody says to work hard and do it, but when it starts affecting your health, then slow down and let your emotions flow. Slowing down doesn’t mean you are behind; no, it’s all about your pace. I always remind myself to focus on my own journey and not compare it to others. It’s okay to slow down and reflect on how far you have come; it’s okay to dwell on how things didn’t go perfectly, allow all your emotions to flow; it doesn’t make you feel insane, but it will allow your mental health to be sane. Everything you are doing is perfect, even when you feel like it’s not, but at least you are trying. Life is all about making you feel all the emotions and nothing at once, so slow down if things feel too heavy, take a rest, look in the mirror and smile for how much you have held up, and if you want to cry, cry, it doesn’t make you weak but proud that you are allowing yourself to be okay.

It’s okay to grow slowly.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write

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It will happen…

I do not know how it will happen but I do know that it will happen.

My life has been crazy right now, but in a good way. I am at that stage of my life where I always used to dream, and now I am here, actually working and living in it. Not just that, but I have taken up so many challenges that the mini me would have never thought of because of how self-conscious I was back then. I am always so ready to take up challenges, and guess what, I am not even a little bit afraid of how I am going to do it, but I want to experience it and learn from it. And this habit of mine has taken me to places which I always thought would be out of my dreams, but now I am actually living it. What I have realised is that no matter how tough it looks, it will happen, and you will probably feel wondering how it happened, and you are actually living it. I believe that working on your passion will definitely lead you to the path that once felt impossible. It will take time, but speaking from my personal experience, someone who didn’t even think that what she is doing right now would be even 1 per cent possible, but it happened because I never let go of my passion and believed in myself. The advice I am giving to you is no matter how impossible it looks and how much you are afraid, take that challenge and do it, at least you will get to experience it as well as learn, which is more important than not doing anything. The important thing I have learned is that from doing only you are going to learn; if you want to go big, then you need to do it irrespective of the result. How would you know how capable you are unless you try it? If you want to achieve more, then you need to test yourself by taking up challenges that seem impossible, but that’s how you are going to learn and be ready to take on more challenges ahead. So, trust yourself; it will happen, and in a way that will really make you appreciate taking that step and making it happen. 

Maybe you should stop overthinking and just trust the way life happens.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write

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The chaos of life…

“Life is divine Chaos. It’s messy, and it’s supposed to be that way.” – Keats

I love calmness, but I also adore the chaos of life. When you are walking on the street surrounded by thousands of people and wonder what kind of life they are living and what kind of life you are living, but at the same time, you are in the same place. Life is something; if we look upon it as a queen of mischief, it will throw you down, but like a magic flying carpet, it will catch you. I believe in the chaos of life. I like trying things that seem so out of this world, things that bring drama to my life, because we only live once, and no one knows what will happen next, so why not do dramatic things? I believe that embracing the chaos of life gives you a whole new perspective on it, you find beauty in things that you never even thought about, and you get to know the beauty and the chaos it carries, bringing you the ultimate comfort. All great things are embedded with chaos; chaos is constant in life, but we must find peace within it. Messy things can be beautiful, like abstract painting that might not make sense to a common person, but it looks phenomenal. Maybe the chaos of life will make you go mad, but it’s okay, everyone is a bit mad, so instead burn it, let go and just dive into the chaos life has brought. Maybe this will help you find where you truly belong. Embracing life makes everything so easy, and we actually get to see the beauty of it, but it also comes with a lot of chaos that we need to hug in order to go past it and find the beauty and peace in it. I have heard that to survive, you need to be wild in chasing your dreams, and that will happen when you know how to embrace the chaos of life…

And she embraced the chaos as it painted her life with purpose.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write

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