Raw feelings…

Being a person who feels things deeply is exhausting.

I was sitting in the middle of the chaos, but my heart was so empty that the outside chaos couldn’t stir the chaos in my heart. These are my thoughts when I was sitting between kids running around and just living their lives. And this brought me back to my time as a child. I was a child who lived fully. I played my heart out and never worried about my future or what I would be once I grew up. Now, when I look at myself, I have grown a lot in a lot of ways. I was a child who never believed that I could stand up on the stage and speak a few things, that I could overcome any challenges, or that I could ever achieve things. But as for where I am today, I can proudly say I am doing everything that I was made to believe that I couldn’t do. I feel like, as I have gotten older, I have gotten really quiet, but I have a raging storm in me that I don’t know how to express. But at certain times, I feel like nothing, no matter what is happening around me, I feel empty inside. I don’t know how to express myself, especially my feelings, which are so intense that I feel nothing, leaving me feeling empty from the inside. This makes me believe that every feeling is valid, and it’s okay to feel nothing when everything becomes intense. Everyone has different ways in which they deal with their feelings. For me, it’s to give it time and let it flow; otherwise, I can’t function properly. Also, I need to think about my feelings, I need to observe my surroundings and express how it makes me feel, and one of the reasons why I am here is to express my raw feelings.

I wrote this post in the situation, so it came really raw. I hope whoever is reading this post is okay, and that it’s okay to deal with feelings that make you feel nothing inside. Everything will work out eventually.

It’s okay. To feel all the feels.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Review: ‘Boys Over Flowers’ K-drama (2009)

“Guys didn’t do things for no reason in front of a girl they like. There’s always a reason.” – Yoon Ji Hoo

Yes, I am in my early K-drama zone because now K-dramas don’t hit like they used to. So I am back with the iconic and classic K-drama of all time, Boys Over Flowers, which is almost 2 decades old. And the irony is that whenever I watch this drama, it never feels that old, as if it belongs to the 2000s. This storyline is adapted in so many languages, and I have watched it in almost all. I don’t know, but the storyline is very much suitable for an adult like me. The story follows the life of Geum Jan Di, who belongs to a lower class, and one day she gets a scholarship to study at one of the most prestigious Shin Hwa High School. Because of her bubbly and stubborn nature, she gets picked on by Gun Jun Pyo, one of the most popular students of the school. But later, he finds himself attracted to her.

A classic 2000 storyline, and I have seen so many adaptations of this, but classic always remains classic. Definitely in today’s time, we will never appreciate Gun Jun Pyo, and to be honest, I never approved of him, especially because of his horrendous hairstyle. I want to start by stating that I am a member of Team Yoon Ji-hoo, just like Team Edward or Team Jacob. Gun Jun Pyo and Yoon Ji-hoo were the two leads, and fans would fight over who they were supporting.

Let’s start with the character of Gun Jun Pyo, a big red flag because of his emotional trauma. It is very important in a relationship for both to be there emotionally; however, Gun Jun Pyo couldn’t be. And that was the downfall of his character. I mean, we can’t blame him, as that’s his situation, but definitely not someone I could ever be with. I don’t know why she ended up with him when there was a whole green flag waiting for her. But then I remember, Gun Jun Pyo is the male lead, not the second lead, so she has to end up with him.

Then we have my favourite character, Geum Jan Di. Her innocent look and the way she talks are just worth watching. She is not cringy but a wholesome character. No wonder so many fell for her. Yoon Ji-hoo is the greatest green flag, but he was also the second lead. No matter what, I wanted them together.

The chemistry is good, but so much is happening as we start from enemies to lovers, and there are so many chaotic moments between them, which I honestly loved. The cinematography is amazing. The OST, I still very much listen to. So Yi Jung, an early crush for everyone, I mean, his smile is absolutely breathtaking, and his chemistry with Cha Ga Eul is just beautiful. Their love story is like a fresh breeze of air.

Song Woo-bin, an iconic character with his iconic talks. The storyline is very appealing and has high school vibes. The atmosphere is a mix of laughter, love, fighting, happiness, and tears. I loved the chaotic side of the story. I loved Gun Jun Pyo’s clueless side and Geum Jan Di’s talks. The highlight is definitely the fading away of the difference between the boys and her, and how they all became close and supportive of each other.

“What’s so hard about Love? You simply grab the other person’s hand and refuse to let go.” – Gun Jun Pyo

It’s a classic, do watch it if you want to indulge in 2000s high school vibes.

Total Episodes: 25

My Rating: 8/10

Genre: Comedy, Romance, Drama

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Limit.

“What are you?”

“To define is to limit.” – Oscar Wilde

I love to read my old blog posts once in a while, and I came across my review for the Oh My Venus K-drama. And there is a quote in the drama that says, “If you’re hanging in there, you haven’t reached your limit.” And boom, I am here with my thoughts on it.

Let me keep it real with you all, I always underestimated myself, and people would come and say you could have done it, but you already decided you couldn’t. And now, at this stage where I am handling so much, I know I underestimated myself. We never truly know our potential until we give it all.

We have to test out limits, we have to take the risk and just do it. If it works, that’s amazing; if not, we are learning, and that’s what matters. Nobody really knows what they are made to do in this world; all of them have taken risks, tested their limits to reach where they are now.

If I want to create a life for myself, I need to break all the limits that I have created for myself in my mind. Nobody does that. I do it; I put limits in my mind about how I can’t do it. But how could I know that unless I have not even tried?

My goal is to take as many challenges as I can, irrespective of the result. I want to grow, and I want to learn, and that will happen when I push all of my limits and just do it. I never really knew that after giving my all, I might even conquer the world, and that’s what I want to do.

So in life, there will be moments where we just want to quit, and that’s okay and totally normal. Everyone deserves a break, but if you are hanging in there and you are okay, that means there is so much you have to do, there is so much waiting and calling your name.

You don’t have limits; if it’s all up to you, push yourself ahead. Do what scares you, because once an opportunity goes, it will never come back. So don’t create a limit in your mind beforehand until you don’t do it, you don’t try it, everything is limitless.

The sky is the limit.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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live while you’re busy surviving

You’ve mastered survival mode. Now it’s time to live.

The most I tell myself daily is to live while surviving. I never knew it would be harder to survive than to live the life I grew up in. Every single day I wake up and get in my zone to work, and just like that, the day passes away, and at night I realise that I didn’t even get to live or breathe a sigh of relief, but the more I have gotten, the tension of the day. And I know it will not end while I will be waiting for it; it is up to me to come out of it and live because that’s how life works. I really want to make the best of my life, and I know a lot needs to be sacrificed to achieve it. But if it gets too much, I know I need to take a break for my mental health. We are creating the life we want to live; however, that doesn’t mean we will be surviving at every step. We need to understand and know how to balance between living and surviving. You know yourself the best, you know your mental health the best, and you know how much you are dealing with, so if it gets too much, please take a break and live life. Sometimes we need to do something that totally just brings us comfort and nothing more. Sometimes we need to leave everything and live in that moment of life to bring ourselves some peace and appreciate how much we are trying. Your mental health matters the most. In the process of surviving, spare some time in doing what you love, see it as you are recharging yourself, maybe by watching your favourite drama, cooking your favourite meal, or just taking a walk. We need to understand that the small moments bring so much peace when we just sit and reflect on how much we have done and come so far in life, and be proud of it. So remember when it gets too hard, please take a break because you are living a life, not just surviving it.

Life should be more than just surviving. Strive to live, laugh, make memories, love, cry, and learn.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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A life of your own.

Why regret something you once wanted?

I don’t think so, we are ever told that we have to live for ourselves, that we have to create a life of our own, and we never understood the point of it until we grew up and realised that everyone in our lives is selfish, but they don’t want us to be selfish for ourselves. It hurts seeing that choosing what we really want from our own lives is unacceptable to others, and we become villains for it, for the life we want to live. It is so hard to make people understand that everyone has their own lives, just like them, you do have your own life, and you have the freedom to choose however you want to live and whatever you want to achieve, but why can’t people just accept this fact? My only goal in life is to do what I really love. Time is running and life is short, so trying to fit in someone else’s shoes is not at all my goal, and I ain’t got time for it. Just imagine a life of yours where you have the freedom to do whatever you want, how cool it sounds, right? So if it comes true, how fun it would be living it in real life. I know it’s hard to live the life that you have created in your mind, but nothing is impossible. Take that opportunity and do what you truly love, creating a life of your own. You can proudly say that you fought for it. I always keep remembering that I just have one life, and if I allow somebody else to rule it, then when am I going to live the life that is given to me? I think you need to become a villain to live the life you want. There will be moments where you have to leave behind something, but this is the cost of creating your own life that you truly deserve. Be strong for yourself, and I know nothing happens at first, but trust me, you have to become stronger, you have to think for yourself, you have to be selfish for yourself, and that’s how you are going to create a life of your own.

Your idea of me is not my responsibility to live up to.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Not starting is scarier…

Sometimes we have to stop being scared and just go for it. Either it’ll work or it won’t. That is life.

I used to think that taking the opportunity would be scarier, and entering into a new world would be impossible because I didn’t know anything. This was my mindset. However, as I grew up or was growing up, I realised that no matter how much I read theoretically, the most I will learn through the practicality of my life. Now, as an adult, if I let an opportunity go by, be it big or small, it hurts me so much because I don’t know what that opportunity would bring me in the form of a blessing. I have read about many people, and all of them talk about how they were looking for something else, and suddenly, one opportunity came, and just like that, they took it, and now they are where they were supposed to be. Now, as the realisation hit me that if I let go of the opportunity due to my fear of not getting selected, it would harm me more than being rejected after giving it a shot. Not starting is scary, which is my mindset whenever I am about to try something new. I made up my mind that I should give it a try. I don’t know how much I know, and I will not know until I try. Rather than doubting myself before even starting, I focus on what I am about to learn. Rejection teaches us a lot. I am writing it with my experience, it makes us think that at least we tried, at least we overcame our fear and went through it. It’s life, there will be many rejections, but that doesn’t make you a failure, but the strongest soldier who took the first step. Start just start, no matter how scary it looks, trust me, when you look back, you will be so proud of yourself. For you to look back and be proud, you need to start, no matter how scary it looks, it will make such a difference in your life.

Making a big life change is scary. But you know what’s scarier? Regret.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Mindset.

If you know you can do better, then do better.

It’s all the game of your mindset that leads you to win or lose…The moment I realised that I need to create a mindset for everything I do in my life is the moment everything changed in the way I look at things. It is not easy to always have a positive mindset towards things because it’s life, and it throws a lot at you. But what else can we do besides accepting it by creating a mindset? By that, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t let your emotions out, no, that’s not what I meant. What I am saying is that you need to create your mindset in a way that prepares you for the situations that will come your way. Mindset doesn’t always need to be positive, but also about how you let your emotions follow and then create your mindset to move ahead and make things right. The best advice I can give you is to do something when you want to, without worrying about the outcome. Instead, focus on creating a mindset that what you are doing is for your growth and to strengthen your mindset. When you deal with things with challenges in life, that’s how your mindset becomes strong, and you are ready for the future. Even if the result didn’t come the way you wanted, but you know in your mind that you gave your best, your mindset is ready for another challenge. It’s all about your mindset, how you handle things, how you look at things, and how you deal with them. And don’t worry about how you are going to learn how to make your mindset; it happens when you take risks, it happens when you blindly follow what you love, and the result helps you make your mindset grow. Take the risk, don’t worry about the result, because no matter what the result will be, one thing is for sure, that you are ready for the future because of your strong mindset.

A beautiful day starts with a beautiful mindset.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Search for what you love…

I hope you find what you’re looking for.

A topic that I have been looking forward to writing on. I have always admired, and still do, people who look so happy doing what they love, following their passion that brings them everything. Never in my life until I started blogging have I had any passion or things that I really love from my heart, and actually, I never thought I would find it, but here I am. Blogging is my life, it allows me to express myself and brings me comfort that nothing has yet done. I actually see myself as a lucky person who found my passion, something that I really love from my heart and admire others for the same. Getting comfort in doing things is another level of satisfaction. I have read that only a certain percentage of people in the world are lucky enough to find what they truly love. I think that the world has outlined what a particular individual should do, even if it means not loving it. But what I think in today’s time, where time is moving so fast, we need to give our all to follow our passion. If I talk about my experience, it took me time to find what I truly love because there are so many hobbies that others do, and I have tried them as well, but nothing really brought me comfort until I started writing. That’s what makes one individual different from others. I urge you all to find what you truly love, like any hobby that truly brings comfort to you from inside, something that will soak up your tears and mend your broken heart. What you truly love and what you love to do has nothing to do with others. I always say to have an attitude that you don’t care what others say if it brings you happiness, that’s all that matters, because in the end, it’s your life and you are living it.

Do what you love, love what you do.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write

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Review: ‘Goblin’ K-drama (2016)

“Every moment I spent with you shines. Because the weather was good, because the weather was bad, and because the weather was good enough. I love every moment of it.” – Goblin

Another classic K-drama that really brought it to the global level, as well as made ‘Globin’ famous. There was definitely something in the air of 2016, because every K-drama of that time was immensely popular as well as different, like ‘Goblin’. I rewatched the drama again so that I can write the review on it. So basically it’s a fantasy drama about an immortal Goblin, Kim Shin, who has a curse that he can’t die unless he finds his bride, who will remove the sword from his chest, and end his life. He waits centuries to find his bride, but can’t find her until a schoolgirl named Ji Eun-Tak confesses that she is the chosen one.

Let’s start with our female lead, Ji Eun-Tak, whose mother dies really early, leaving her with their horrible relatives who abuse her. So she wants to go away from them, and she stumbles upon the Globin. I absolutely loved her character, even though she went through a lot then too; she was so courageous in every situation. I loved how she was so alone in the world like the goblin, but as her destiny intertwined with his, she found her peace. Her funny expression while following the goblin was hilarious, as well as their normal conversation was so funny.

Then we have our goblin, who made the world know what a goblin actually is. At first, he looked so serious, but as he lived for centuries, we could see he started to lose his mind and just wanted to die. He is so funny, let me begin with it, especially his expressions. Even though he lives for centuries, he is unable to talk to humans, and when Eun-Tak entered his life, he just didn’t know how to act, and he just does funny things without even trying. His Goblin side chef kiss, especially his backstory, added so much to his character.

The chemistry between them is so good because they are hilarious together, apart from their sad scene. I didn’t find them boring. I liked that there was not much romance; rather, it focuses on the bond both share. Both of them trying to live with each other and get used to each other was so much fun to watch.

My favourite character of the drama is the Grim Reaper, Wang Yeo. He is an absolute cinema with mind-blowing expression, and his banter with Goblin. I loved his Grim Reaper side so much. Definitely a second lead that I won’t forget. Also, his backstory with Kim Sun is so freaking sad. I loved their chemistry, and Kim Sun’s character is hilarious.

Another one of my all-time favourite side characters is Yoo Deok-hwa. The only human apart from Eun-Tak residing with the Grim Reaper and the Goblin. This comedy timing is so good, whenever he comes on the screen, I can’t control my laughter. He added so much freshness to the drama.

I absolutely loved the plot; it was so interesting. It was not only intense but also had many fun elements added to the drama. I felt that the drama is not boring as we get to see Goblin and Grim Reaper’s bromance, Eun Tak’s cuteness and Kim Sun’s sassiness. The back story is so heartbreaking, especially that of Grim Reaper and Kim Sun.

The best thing in the drama that elevated it was the cinematography, which was absolutely beautiful, and now it has become a tourist spot. The other thing is the OST; no matter how many OSTs come, this one, “Stay With Me”, will always top the chart for me. The rhythm of it is just fantastic; it literally transports you to the goblin world. I think everyone knows Goblin’s Ost. The ending fits so right for a supernatural historical drama.

I highly recommend it as it’s a classic and one should definitely watch it once.

“Someday, we’ll meet again. It’ll be the happiest day. I will go to you like the first snow.” – Goblin

Total Episodes: 16

My Rating: 9/10

Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Drama

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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It’s okay to slow down.

You will find your way, even when it feels like you won’t.

I have been telling myself lately that it’s okay to slow down, and the only thing that is keeping me sane. You know when you reach a level where you are doing so much but are unable to see the result, yes, that’s where I am. I want to fly so high, but whenever I feel like I am about to touch the sky, it moves far away, and I start feeling that maybe flying high is not written in my destiny. I have been in a phase which makes me so proud to see how far I have come, but also in a phase where I am unable to be proud of myself; it feels like there is always something that pulls me back. I’m experiencing a range of emotions, but at the same time, I feel nothing; this is my standard status for so many years. And I let my emotions flow within me. If I am not feeling well mentally, then I won’t force myself to do anything, and that’s how I feel better. I always remind myself that my health is more important than anything, and if it makes me slow down, then it’s totally okay. Actually, everybody says to work hard and do it, but when it starts affecting your health, then slow down and let your emotions flow. Slowing down doesn’t mean you are behind; no, it’s all about your pace. I always remind myself to focus on my own journey and not compare it to others. It’s okay to slow down and reflect on how far you have come; it’s okay to dwell on how things didn’t go perfectly, allow all your emotions to flow; it doesn’t make you feel insane, but it will allow your mental health to be sane. Everything you are doing is perfect, even when you feel like it’s not, but at least you are trying. Life is all about making you feel all the emotions and nothing at once, so slow down if things feel too heavy, take a rest, look in the mirror and smile for how much you have held up, and if you want to cry, cry, it doesn’t make you weak but proud that you are allowing yourself to be okay.

It’s okay to grow slowly.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write

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