Tag: feelings

Shattered Dreams…

“Shattered dreams still have sharp edges.”

Imagine yourself at 80 sitting on the rocking chair and seeing the young generation at the place where you were once and suddenly someone questions you, what was your dream and did you fulfil it? How lucky will you be if you can answer yes but if it’s the opposite, it’s the heart-shattering voice you hear repeatedly. Having a dream is a privilege but this world is filled with inevitable things that stand between you and your dream. There are many regrets a person feels but not being able to fulfil the dreams because of others is the regret that will never let you go. It hurts my heart to write that maybe if I fought more I could be living my dream at the moment but here I am living someone else’s dreams. It will never let me go ever, be it at any age I will always come back at the moment where I knew I lost my dream and shattered heart that can’t be whole again. Once the dream is broken you move on there is nothing you can do except allow yourself to curse that is why it’s me who has to leave my dream, how much difference would my life be if I fought more, maybe I would have less regret to carry in my heart. What has shattered can’t be fixed, its pieces break into so many sharp edges and when you just breathe it pokes you so bad and at that moment you realize how life is so much of a failure, that you are unable to forget and forgive yourself of the dream you once had that shattered. The dreams never stop you are a dreamer you will keep on dreaming but the fear of reliving the moments of your shattered dreams comes like a wind in front of you. There is no going back from regret, you just need to learn to live with it and accept that maybe life would be so different if the dreams remain dreams, not shattered dreams…

“Not all dreams are meant to be fulfilled.” – M A

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write

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One of a Kind.

Each one of us is special… what you are capable of might be unimaginable for someone else.

As long as I remember, I have always compared myself to others, I have always told myself, “Why can’t I do things others can?” “Why can’t I be like them?” Because there was nothing I could do as a child, I never did things that I would be proud of, I did not have skills so that made me think I could not do anything. Looking back, I realize I was a child filled with mischievous traits of just playing around and living life to the fullest. I hate the comparison, I hate that I have to be compared with someone to increase my capabilities. Why can’t I be one of a kind? Why they can’t be one of a kind? The world has put everyone in a race, to move forward but is it right? Why does everything have to be about winning and losing? Why is it not that they can be good at something and I can’t and vice versa? Is it shameful for the world? But Alas! I have reached that stage of my life, where I have found the skill that I am proud of, the skill that makes me happy that makes me one of a kind. I am a girl who is proud of what she is doing, I am a girl who has proved to herself that she has a talent that she can be proud of, and I just love being one of a kind. Remember everyone, you are one of a kind, no one in the world can be you except yourself, and that itself makes you unique and powerful. There is no one like you out there, so don’t try to be like someone else, be yourself, the person you always want to be, I am rooting for you. All my life, I have always scolded myself to do better and always doubted why I can’t do things. But I was just ignoring what I actually could do to fit in society. I wanted to do what others can do and ignored that just like them I also have skills that I can do and they can’t and maybe I am one of a kind.

Never forget that you are one of a kind.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Passion.

Seek what sets your soul on fire.

I love to hear when people talk about things they love with passion in their eyes. I never knew that having things you love is a luxury in this world. People are lucky when they see what they love and continue to do it. It is so funny that when we are children we decide we want to become something just like that. But when we grow up when actual responsibility falls on us we realize it is so important to choose what we truly love because we are going to be stuck so it is better to figure out which direction is for us. In my life, I never really had a passion for things until blogging. I just knew I loved writing and had to do it and here I am, proud of my passion. I love to hear when people tell the work they are doing, and the hobbies they are engaged in are something they love. I love to see how they are so passionate about it and it can be seen in their eyes the way they talk. And I want to be that person as well, when I talk about my passion I want my heart to burst out of energy, my eyes to sparkle, my stomach to be filled with butterflies and my mind waiting to get back to what I love. I feel like a lucky person because I have found what I love. When I told you for the longest time in my life, I had no clue what I love and what my heart desires. And it hurts seeing others have something they love while I am stuck to the ground unable to find my passion. But now I know, I love writing, I love telling people what writing means to me and how grateful I am to find something that sets my soul on fire. If you are still stuck to the ground, don’t worry you will find something that will set your soul on fire, take it from me, I spent years finding something I love and I know you will also find your passion.

People with great passion can make the impossible happen.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Self-Betrayal

What betrayed me the most?

The soul within others that I trusted or the heart inside me?

It hurts so much when someone close to us betrays us most unexpectedly, however, some days ago I was lost in my thoughts and a sudden realization came to me, will I be able to forgive myself for self-betraying? I am at that point in my life where all the major decisions have been taken and now life is heading towards it. However, if you are following me for a while you might know many unexpected things have happened in my life, which might not be something I wanted. I always think that if I had fought more, my life would have been different. It is great to tell people that you are doing something you love because you feel happy from inside but when you see someone doing the job they love a part of your mind always cornered you for self-betraying. The thoughts always came at the most unexpected time and left me wondering what position I had put myself in. From childhood we are shown to put others’ needs in front of us but what about us? We learned that our needs are not important and we let others make decisions about our lives. The self-betrayal will always be there reminding us how life would be so different and continue to hurt. But I have started to acknowledge those feelings rather than running away, acceptance is the key and for me to heal, it is important. I will say don’t even lie to yourself, give time and if it’s hurting let it hurt until you are okay to see that there is another path waiting for you. Be patient with yourself, take it slow, let it be absorbed and take time to acknowledge the position you are in. Make boundaries around you, sometimes we overshare which is not good because certain thoughts should be kept to us, it’s ours. The scar will always remain but you are stronger to wear it like a crown.

Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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I am the quiet one.

I am the quiet one

that nobody expects much from.

I like to read, write, and

think alone.

I observe others in their loudness

and my silence.

I prefer keeping my thoughts to myself

and asking questions that nobody has the answer to.

I am the piece of the puzzle

that doesn’t fit.

I always ask myself

Why is it hard to be like them?

Why I don’t like things

that most of them do?

Why is it hard to find

myself in the loudness?

Why is it always me?

I have been bearing

the question in my heart since I got to know the world.

Why do I always notice people and try

to make them comfortable while they walk confidently?

Why is it always me?

Maybe because

I am the quiet one

that nobody notices…

In the last post, I wrote about how in silence I have started to embrace the loudness that comes with it and then I realize how as a person I have become so quiet. So I decided to write this post in a poem format but in a free way. I wanted to try something new and I just went with it. I hope you guys like it.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Silence in loudness…

there’s so much said in the words we don’t say

There is a silence in me that is so loud that it makes me so familiar with myself and my surroundings. I am someone who can understand others without them saying anything, their silence is so loud that I can hear and with that, I truly never understood when I am also getting used to being in silence. The saying is true silence is so loud if you are a good listener and I think I fit in the category. I was never like that but after I hit adulthood I started being alone not listening to anything just sitting in my thoughts. Yesterday I was travelling around and there was so much loudness but my silence was so strong that I did not know when I arrived. I think I like myself in silence where I can focus on myself and my thoughts. I like being the quiet one who observes the surroundings around me rather than the loud one. I think you can find answers in silence rather than in loudness because silence has so much power to give you answers. I love being myself, I love enjoying being with my thoughts, and I like when I am stuck in my silence and the world keeps moving forward it gives me the power to take my time and then move on. The day I got to know how loud silence is was the day I truly got to see the world and myself. I think being the quiet one helps me be in control of my thoughts and when I see people around me I also think about how many feelings they are going through. I also pray that whoever is going through something may get over it well. Being able to be in silence in the chaos of life just sit and think about life – I love those feelings, silence in loudness.

“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.”

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Vulnerability

Vulnerability is terrifying, the courage it takes to reveal your heart is one of the most daunting…and yet rewarding experiences in life, it will set you free.

I think the concept of being strong in life seems to be a little misunderstood. I feel like this world has made people ashamed if they show their vulnerability and nothing is wrong with this. We are humans, not robots, we are bound to have feelings and every feeling is valid just like being vulnerable. In every person’s life, there are moments of vulnerability where they reflect on their life. Some days we just want to sit and be vulnerable rather than strong and just save up the energy of being strong. Our mind needs a rest and it’s okay to have days where your mind is empty and you feel like doing nothing. Our whole life we are busy doing things to keep up with the world but that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve a break. When we are in the stage of vulnerability we actually see who we are, we see our true self without the mask and allowing people to see us which is one of the greatest and fearest things in life. Talking up the courage to open up is one of the strongest things to do. Strength lies in vulnerability. It takes courage to open up about fears, dreams and hopes that we have kept locked inside the heart but connect on a deeper level. Sometimes it is mandatory to show people that we are humans and being vulnerable is not weak but it makes you stronger on a more profound level. There is nothing like being vulnerable means weak, it’s just a time to rest and reflect on how you truly are. There is a fear of how others will view you with your vulnerable side, however, remember being vulnerable means being true to yourself. But vulnerability is frightening too because not everyone can open up about being vulnerable however it will set you free, and it’s a rewarding experience of your life to see who you truly are and what you truly deserve.

Embracing vulnerability unlocks true strength.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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living someone else’s dream.

you don’t have time to live someone else’s dream, you only have enough time to live your own dreams.

The last blog post I posted was the review of ‘Love Next Door’ K-drama and when I wrote the review the only thing that kept running through my mind was how the female lead never had a dream because she never thought what she liked she just knew she has to top the school and secure a very good job to make her parents proud. And when a question was raised about her dream when she was in school she did not have any answer and that was astonishing to think about. Having a dream or not both is okay but living off on another person’s dream, on another person’s expectations and on another person’s will is something we never understand until we realize that the pin has reached its limit and is now poking you every now and then. Everyone should have the right to think about what they want. In school, it is not known to us how adulthood is and we are ready to live off our parents’ dream of us becoming what they want. But I have seen that the fuel of it doesn’t last a long run and with that, all fears of breaking our parent’s expectations, starting new, and finding out what we like, get a lot real. I fear that when someone in the future will ask me what my dream was, how I am going to answer them, and if I am happy with what I am doing right now. I don’t know what I will answer to them because in school you don’t realize the importance of what a dream is. You don’t realize that living off another person’s dream will make you so exhausted and fill you with a lot of fears about upsetting people around you. I just want to let you know that the dream and the life you are living should only be worthy of you, you should only be afraid of upsetting yourself, and you should have your own expectations of yourself, and it’s your life. At the end of the day, you will realize that no matter how much you do people are still going to be upset with you so live the life the way you want. Start fresh and I know it is frightening but what makes you happy is worth everything.

Life is too short to be working on someone else’s dream.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Learning to appreciate small moments

you learn to appreciate the moment once you realise that the moment will always end.

Just a few days ago my exam result came and my feelings at that time are something I wanted to write about. So if you don’t know I have talked about my feelings a lot in the past year on my blog. And here I am again but with progress about how happy I am with my result, and I did not even once doubt myself. It means I am very happy with my result, I talked to my best friend about how since my result came I am just laughing happily and that means a lot to me. It makes me think that I have truly made progress in my life, I have learned to appreciate myself, and that makes me feel so energetic. As I have written previously, life is all about happiness and sadness it keeps on rotating, and it won’t stay still but as humans, we need to appreciate small things in life. I have learned to live in the moment because we know nothing lasts for a long time, especially happiness. But let me tell you that once you learn and reach the stage where you start to appreciate yourself more, you will be happy. I walk with the motto that if a thing brings you happiness even for a short time, just do it and feel that feeling because it will make you stronger to take the next step. Creating a moment of ease amidst the busy life and heavy expectation is something we all need. I never knew that a small thing would give me happiness, no matter how big or small, my heart felt at ease that is what I am happy about. I just want to share this and let you know that I am happy for you if you have made progress in your life and if you are still stuck don’t worry your guardian angel is just behind you pushing you forward, so all the best.

Life is short. Time is fast. No replay, no rewind. So enjoy every moment as it comes.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Stuck…

What if it doesn’t get easier like everybody says?

There are things you learn when you become an adult, things that nobody wants to learn but it happens. However, amidst that the most hurtful is when you see that life is going too far, everything is moving too fast and too suddenly. People around you are building their dreams, working their way to the future, you are seeing them in places where you are also supposed to be. Then you see yourself and realize that you are stuck with all the unmatched pieces of failed attempts to be something, and it hurts. When you see the hard work you have done, it brings you nothing but disappointment. When you see people of your age achieving great heights while you are standing at the bottom and seeing the strings of disappointments that have tied you to the ground. Life is so funny; it never misses showing how miserable you are in front of others. It shows you things that make up your list of disappointments. I have been in a place where I just thought they could but why I can’t, I was that child that lacked social skills and an aura of being a talked child. It is depressing to see people expect so much from a mere child who should be given the liberty to live freely rather than reaching expectations because adult life is all about getting stuck by numerous frustrations and disappointments. It is wild when you see that in the middle of the crowd, everyone is perfectly moving with their lives and then there is you whose steps just don’t move. You are drowning in your own self, failures, disappointment, and every possible word that screams you are not enough.

But then I remember that when you become an adult you realize that your competition is not with others but with yourself and even it hurts a lot seeing yourself stuck at a place but that doesn’t mean you can’t cut the strings. If you can’t find scissors then you have your teeth means it’s in you. Nobody can be you and that’s your power – memorize it for days when you are stuck.

Sometimes, we are stuck in the dark for so long, that we forget what light looks like, and what hope and love feel like.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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