The feeling of let down

Sometimes it takes a good fall to really know where you stand.

Yes, it hurts when we are let down by people but you know what hurts more when we are let down by ourselves. The thing about humans that fascinated me and terrified me is how we are capable of feeling so many emotions at the same time. Sometimes we are happy with our efforts and sometimes those efforts make us feel that we didn’t do enough. Some days ago I was kind of in that place and I kept thinking about how much I could have done better. The feeling never leaves by the way you just learn to live with it, or more I can say that it haunts us forever. The feeling of letting down hurts so much that it makes you feel miserable about losing the power to do everything and that you can’t do anything right anymore. The negative energy that comes with it questions you at every step about your capability and strength.

However, I have learned that it will not last for a long time if I know how to overcome it. I have been in that place many times and I mostly read my blog post. This helps me remember that I am the same person who wrote the posts and I still have the power to continue what I love. As life goes up then down we need a certain darkness to properly see some holes of lights that are hidden in darkness in order to find the purpose again. So don’t let the feeling of letting down strike you hard and make you fall instead strike back hard. Make yourself remember that life can be the way you want only if you learn to fight back against the feeling of let down.

Take a deep breath and try all over again.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Is it hard to open up?

“Feelings that come back are feelings that never left.” – Frank Ocean

I am someone who is not very good at expressing myself in front of people. I like to keep things to myself in my head especially if it involves feelings. Recently I thought, is it hard to open up to people about feelings or thoughts. Now every person is different and some have someone they can talk to while others don’t. And even people who have someone don’t know how to open up. I feel like I am in the category of not talking about my feelings at all because my mouth just gives up. I felt that it was me who didn’t want to open up but it’s just that words don’t find me. It takes a lot of courage to open up to someone you know will understand you after you know your inner feelings. You are not just opening up your feelings you are opening up your soul and that is the biggest asset one has so opening up is definitely very hard even with the right person. Opening up needs a lot of courage because first, you need to accept yourself as you are which takes a lot of strength. Because it is hard to see yourself in the eyes of others when you, yourself have not accepted the way you are.

I am a good listener and I feel like I would let the person pour it’s feelings out the way they want and I would never try to change their feelings or would put them in a position where they should not have thought of that at all. Every feeling is relevant and every person should get the time to evolve through them which I think is very important. It is hard to open up especially if you, yourself are in a mind of confusion and can’t figure out how to speak. I feel why it is hard because I don’t know how to explain things, I don’t want to see the aftermath, I don’t want to put my burden on someone else, I don’t want someone to make me feel about how irrelevant I am about feelings. I just want someone to stay outside the door and let me open the door to lightness. I want someone to let me know that every feeling has the right to be expressed. I want someone to extend their hand and wait because I want myself to come out and hold that hand.

“Have patience, heart.”

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Remember when…

Nostalgia

a sentimental or wistful yearning for the happiness felt in a former place, time, or situation

Please allow me to take you back in time with this post. I have been thinking about writing this post for a while and finally got the right chance. I was not somebody who used to get emotional or connected to memories often, however, it all changed after I made a friend almost 10 years ago, we got really close 6 years ago and since then she has been the person who always makes me remember all the good times. As an adult it is nice to say back in our days we used to do this, we used to eat this, and in such a small amount we used to get so much.

Remember when we had to wait an entire day to talk to our friends? Remember when nothing like getting bored was invented? Remember when playing outside was a big pleasure? Remember when walking in your school corridor made you feel like royalty? Remember when homework was hard as Google never existed in a student’s life? Remember when phone games were a thing? Remember when we used to stay in front of the TV turning on the music channel and waiting for our favorite song to play? Remember when we used to record songs by keeping the phone in front of the TV speaker? Remember when the weekend felt like a whole reset? Remember when days do feel like days? Remember when stress and anxiety were never a thing? Remember when we used to wait for our favourite show to come? Remember when we have to memorize the channel number? Remember when having a CD was a premium? Remember when we used to eat sneakily in the classroom? Remember when social media did not even exist? Remember all the good times that we want to relive again. Alas! Those days will never come back but memories will forever be stored in the heart and to relive them just begin with a sentence remember when…

Memories are stitched with love.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Is it easy to let go?

Don’t let something that’s long gone continue to control you. It’s time to let go.

Is it easy to let go? I have been asking myself this question lately and my perception of it is unclear. There are things in my life that I never wanted to let go but I had to and at some point, it did bother me and I know it will continue to linger in my mind. I am still figuring out how to consider it a valuable lesson rather than a burden of not fighting for it enough. Life is about letting go of things but holding onto what it taught us. In this way, we can learn how to look at the positive side and find things that are truly for us. There are moments in life when we are reminded of things that we thought we were meant to have but life happened. If my emotions are all over the place I feel miserable about things that I was supposed to have and live them then I look at the mirror and see how empty-handed I am in real life. It is not easy to let go because dreams are shattered and that hurts a lot. According to me having a dream is a beautiful vision or the worst nightmare because there are only two options: do it or let it go. Letting go of things that we imagined ourselves in the future is so tough because in every step we are reminded of what we have to let go to achieve. It is easy to sacrifice for our dreams but it is miserable to sacrifice our dreams for something we never dreamed of.

Take your time in processing things that were left unsaid and unachievable. I know it is hard to let go but we learn how to let it go. Take your moments, mourn about it and then think maybe there is something better than it, life needs you to sacrifice now to give you a big surprise later. I got this, you got this, and we got this okay?

I hope you learn how to let go.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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It’s Never Too Late…

there is still time for you to be all that you want to be

You know it’s never too late to start anything. The saying of people that you need to achieve something by this particular age now seems absolutely ridiculous. We don’t know what will happen in the next second in life and here people are saying that by this age you should achieve this. I love seeing myself as a person who is still in the process of developing and learning more about myself and life. One of the best lessons I have learned till today is that there is no final version of myself, I am a person with an endless draft and I will continue to be a person that doesn’t need a finish line to grow. I was not someone who had a dream of becoming something in my childhood however later I did realize what I love to do and I started learning about the same. I was never first or active in discovering things about myself but that doesn’t mean I never discovered it. It’s never too late to start something, it is okay if one thing doesn’t work out, you can start again. But this time with a lot of experience and learning.

I am writing this with the experience that age is all an illusion its all about you and your mind, if you want then you can. It is never too late to discover your dream, start, find yourself, get up, learn about new beginnings, and become the best version of yourself. Life will always flow like water, it won’t stop. Just like that things will happen in your life that will make you realize that it is up to you how to control the waves rather than letting them control you. In life, nothing is constant things will go up and down all the time but there is nothing like it’s too late for anything...

This year choose yourself

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Book Review: Better Than The Movies by Lynn Painter

“She’s not you.”

“What?”

“She. Isn’t. You.” – Wes to Liz

This is my first ever rom-com book and I have not heard any single bad thing about this book so I decided to read it. It is a cute romantic book without much melodrama and to be honest I like books with more melodrama. The story is very simple it is about Liz Buxbaum who wants her real-life love story to be exactly like movies. She is a hopeless romantic and loves to live like it. Wes Bennett is her next-door neighbour who will take any chance to annoy Liz so they are frenemies. When Liz’s crush Michael comes back she wants him to notice her and Michael is getting along well with Wes. So she asks Wes to help her to get to Michael.

Overall the book can be defined as cute, the plot is very straightforward as it is based in high school. The entire book is in Liz’s POV but I wished the author would add Wes’s POV as it would make the book more interesting. I won’t lie and say that I wasn’t annoyed by Liz. Since the whole book was in her POV sometimes she acted to impulse according to me, however, since she was in high school I can look past it. I loved Wes, even from the POV of Liz, I got to know him so much. He is a cutie pie like a typical high school boy and a next-door neighbour. The whole story revolves around Liz becoming close to Wes instead of Michaal and I loved that the author also pointed that out.

In the middle of the book I loved Liz, the kiss scene was just a chef kiss. I was not expecting it at all and the author wrote it so well and captured all the emotions of them. There is no romance romance because till the end Liz is figuring out her feelings. It was also kind of disappointing, but since it’s the book vibe, I did not mind that much. I loved the conversation of them while they were figuring out their feelings. I loved Helena, Liz’s stepmom and she gets most of the credit for making Liz aware of her feelings.

The relationship between Wes and Liz as friends was beautiful, Wes thoroughly understood her. However, since they get together in the end there is not much about their romantic relationship. But there is a sequel to this book called Nothing Like The Movies.

If you want to read something light-hearted, I will recommend this book.

Rating: 4/5

“I fell in love with teasing you in the second grade, when I first discovered that I could turn your cheeks pink with just a word. Then I feel in love with you.” – Wes confession

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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‘The more hard I work the more pathetic I look’

One year from now, I want to be able to look back and say, “Damn, I really did believe in myself and it worked.”

I recently heard a quote that changed my life trajectory, “The more hard I work the more pathetic I look.” After hearing it I could not stop thinking about it, it keeps running in my mind and opens the past memories of my life that are very much related to that quote. I have seen people in my life who don’t need to work so hard but are still able to get everything right which by the way is absolutely great, however when I looked at myself I just knew how much I try I just can’t reach where I always thought I would be. I used to be so hurt because I thought why can’t I do what most people can do? I gave my hundred percent yet still, I never met with the result I always thought I would get. The thing that I loved about growing up was that I knew myself and I knew how much I could do that would make me happy and that’s a relief. Throughout my entire childhood, I was a child with no ambition, I could not do good drawing, crafts, and things that made people around me superior to myself. Now that I look back, I definitely feel that I survived.

The quote made me realize how far I have come in my life. I have learned that the best thing is when you finally get to see the part of yourself that truly makes you feel that you are your biggest gift. It is never too late for anything, it is okay if you discover your dream later there is nothing wrong with it. There will be a time when you will feel that life is not paying you for the amount of work you are doing. However, remember after every storm there is rain and after every rain, there is a rainbow waiting to sparkle its magic on you.

I choose to believe in myself

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Review: ‘When I Fly Towards You’ C-drama (2023)

“If fate could have told me in advance that I would meet such a person, could I have choosen to meet her a little earlier?” – Zhang Lu Rang about Su Zai Zai

This C-drama is a package of everything. Everything is shown so beautifully from childhood to their marriage that I wish I could rewatch it for the first time. So, I have already said in my previous post that I love reminiscing about my school days and this drama brings back good memories from my school days. It is about a cheerful transfer student Su Zai Zai who on her first day of school encounters a cool boy, Zhang Lu Rang and falls for him. Now their love story is shown through all the timelines from school, college and job so you can see their love story in different aspects which I loved.

Talking about Su Zai Zai, she is a girl’s girl. You all know that I do not prefer bubbly FMC however, she is a huge exception because it suits her face. She has an inner child in her and the way she is so bubbly all the time makes her character so adorable. But she is so mature and loving which speaks out for her innocence. On the other hand, Zhang Lu Rang is a green flag. It is hard to find a lead who is cold-hearted but at the same time respects the FMC without saying harsh words to her but again he is an exception. He is cool and calm and loves to adore Su Zai Zai. There is nothing about their characters that is extraordinary, however, that is the reason maybe they fit each other so well.

OMG, their chemistry is amazing. Even after getting into a relationship Su Zai Zai is still the same because Zhang Lu Rang loves her the way she is. Zhang Lu Rang is not much of a talker but a listener to Su Zai Zai. There are scenes where he is so grateful to have a partner who understands him without words. Their confession scene is so good like their story is calm and beautiful. And the proposal is endearing that’s all I am going to say, it’s so heartwarming I still remember screaming because it’s hard to find that in real life.

There is no breakup or misunderstanding. It’s a simple and sweet love story of theirs from childhood to their marriage. The friendship group is hilarious but sweet. The second couple Jiang Jia and Gu Ran have a mind-blowing love story that fills the whole drama to its brim in the best way possible. Their wedding is also fun to watch and both look beautiful. Overall there are no dull scenes in this drama, the cinematography is stunning it’s like breathing in fresh air

If you want to watch a sweet love story where you think you are part of their life then I highly recommend this drama.

My Rating: 10/10

Total Episodes: 24

My Favourite Episodes: All

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Youth

“Perhaps every girl can become a princess infront of the one she loves.” – When I Fly Towards You

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Reminiscing School Days

And the one fine day,

we took off

our school uniform

and never wore it back

Another thing you guys need to know about me is that I am a sucker for high school drama especially Chinese dramas because they in my opinion do it the best. I don’t care about the storyline or the characters because I just want to see the high school; the classroom, the friendship, the exams, the scolding, the teachers, and the vibe. Through these Chinese high school dramas, I relive my school life. Legit I was watching a high school drama the other day and I told my best friend that I just miss my high school corridors, I miss waking up in the morning for my school, I love stepping into the classroom, and I love seeing my friends face light up when the whole group gets together. All my fellow people who understand me might imagine how much I am missing my school life right now. A guilty confession of mine is that I was that kid who would say in my last year of high school that I would not miss my school and here I am writing this post, well nice choice of words you have used past me. Even though studies are a huge factor for students, we still possess a carefree attitude. I still remember how happy I was in school, maybe because the word ‘future’ remained unknown to me. All I cared about was the present moments of my school life. Now as an adult, there are not many restrictions, however, my life feels the opposite of carefree because the future has made me very well aware of its existence. Seriously I am so grateful to have beautiful memories of my school that I will cherish forever.

This post was supposed to be a review of a Chinese high school drama however my emotions went through and I got lost in my sentimental feelings that I didn’t even realise when this post became a post in itself so here I am posting it and the next post will be the drama review so stay tuned for that.

The backbenchers,

the high-school lovers,

and the class toppers;

Now, in different parts of the country;

their class photograph still held them together.

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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Book Review: The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

You know that one classic book that everybody should read for the thriller genre is The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins. It’s a psychological thriller and let me tell you this book has altered my whole brain system not because of the twist but the thoughts and what was going on in the main character’s mind. It is about Rachel who catches the same train every morning and she knows when the train will stop at what signal each time, overlooking the back gardens. She started to feel that she knew one of the couples who lived in one of the houses and they seemed the perfect couple. However one day she sees something very shocking that changes everything about her life and now she is not just a girl on the train anymore.

For a thriller, the plot twist was not shocking, I saw it coming at the start of the book. The plot is also basic it’s nothing extraordinary however the writing of the author legit sucked me in. Rachel the main character is very complex, she is going through a lot and the author’s writing made me feel every emotion that Rachel was going through. The book focuses on Rachel and how she is dealing with her life and basically, I think I was in the mind of Rachel the whole book. The other characters are good and it is great to see how they get tangled in the mess with Rachel or Rachel gets tangled with them.

The psychological aspect is very high because Rachel is already going through a lot and finds herself in a twisted situation. I don’t dare to pick up this book again because even though I read it a year ago, I still remember my mind was not having a great time reading what Rachel was going through.

I will never forget this book ever and I highly recommend this book but please check the trigger warnings.

Rating: 4.5/5

Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.

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