Nothing is working out, until yesterday everything was going fine I thought I was on the right track and with time everything would settle but here I am today writing this blog post about the feelings haunting me day and night. I do know I was always the person who did so much yet never received the success that I dreamed about Alas! After all, I might reach somewhere but it only takes a day to make me feel that I am standing in the same place or maybe I have dropped more. The feeling of failure is the worst after doing so much yet you still failed, I failed and the funny thing is that it hurts so much yet you can’t do anything about it, it makes you look like a loser in front of YOU. What answers to provide to others when you can’t even give yourself one. I don’t know why it is so hard to accomplish things that you are good at, I don’t know why things never work out, I don’t know why nobody is ever satisfied, and I don’t know when the hurt will ever heal or it will pierce every dreams and ambitions like glass pieces shatter everywhere. What is worse is that all the hard work, all the sleepless nights, all the expectations, all the dreams just never seem to be fulfilled, and yes I am in that place. My age is increasing and I am still standing at the same place with nothing in my hand yet I can’t do anything about it. Tears want to drop but not a single drop left as my inside feels like a desert barren land empty where nothing is visible. I am lost and everywhere I see myself looking tired and hollow like a failure.
The user is mentally exhausted.
Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.
It might be shocking to the people that morning people do exist. I have come across many posts saying that now waking up has become a joke to them. To be honest, all thanks to my mother because she was always very strict with me about sleeping early and waking up early and of course school. I never liked missing school, obviously for friends. Even though I stayed up late, I still love to wake up early in the morning if my morning is late that means my whole day will be wasted as I will be so tired. I remember the time when I used to have a good and long sleep at night but I used to wake up tired. So my father explained that anything more than we need will only destroy us. I don’t know what really makes me happy about mornings but I can say that I get more time to do things without being lazy. I remember when I finished one of my important exams I remember reading every book available on Wattpad and even ignoring my friend’s messages that they had to call and check if I was okay. Pretty old days when you just had to think about exams and once it’s finished you could enjoy until the next semester. Can’t believe that being an adult means dealing with so many things simultaneously. Exams are not even finished yet we still have to think about our next step or pending assignments that are just piling up it does not seem that we are completing anything because work never finishes, it just fills the place that gets vacant by the old work ‘Sigh.’ Every morning is like a ray of hope where everyone is sleeping. Yet, you are awake to find how beautiful the world is and just seeing the birds fly, the sky waking up, the sun rising, and quiet amidst the world’s chaos. You get to just forget your problem and breathe in the air that surrounds you because for you it’s just you, the world, and the sunrise that is eagerly waiting for your achievement and silently cheering up on you, Oh, I love being aMORNING PERSON!
Today I will be a ray of freaking sunshine.
Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.
Happiness is not about getting all you want. It is about enjoying what you have.
Mind is one of the main reasons for our existence. We humans tend to overthink a lot. We know we can do it, but we will still overthink and pressure ourselves and our minds. When you realize that mental health is so expensive that no money can buy it. When you realize in one moment while sitting that there is a smile on your face yet from inside you are so hollow that a breeze of wind will turn it into ashes. When you realize that the surroundings you are in are not bringing you comfort, that moment is the most horrifying because you have to start it all again. Finding the surroundings that truly make your mental health good is so hard. Like friendship groups in our childhood we have many close friends but when we grow up keeping up with everyone is not a cup of tea. And you realize that only one friend is all that matters. Mind is a very complicated part of ourselves; we truly do not know what we want at the right time. It all happens when the realization begins that maybe some decisions should have been changed. Past really takes a toll on our mind, the trauma that we all dealt with never leaves what if the same thing happens again? What will we do? It takes a lot of courage to give the mind a piece of advice that it is going to be okay, to reach somewhere we have to try, and nobody is perfect, and that is okay.
People nowadays have seriously stopped caring about their mental health, and it is nobody’s fault you can’t blame anyone. It is the time that brings phases of things we wish to never live, yet it teaches us a lot. If you can take care of your feelings, and emotions then making your mind happy is not that hard. I will always say choose yourself over anything. If you are truly happy from inside then you are truly happy. I know it’s very hard to find things that make you happy, but unless you won’t find them you won’t know it because happy mind happy life!
She loved her life and it loved her back.
Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.
A single phone call invitation for my mother and me to visit another state in India allows us to extend our memories by capturing the beauty of our country. On September 24, 2023, four of my family members (mama, mami, aunty, mother, and me) booked our train tickets to Ahmedabad, Gujarat from our hometown for 12th January 2024, Friday. Since then my anticipation especially was on top of the mountain as it has been ages since I have travelled a long distance by train precisely to be 10 years.
December, 2023
I started a new journey towards my career and so far I am loving it. I got the news that my exams will be in January now when I didn’t know that is how my December month started. Amidst all the wedding season, studying, lectures, and overthinking sessions I got the notice that my exams would be postponed. Yay to be honest I would not mind if I had not gone but still, I would hate that I missed the opportunity.
January, 2024
Finally, the new year came in 2024 I did not realise it because of all the tension of my exams even though it was postponed but still I had my internals that could start anywhere in January and I did not want to miss any lectures. I prepared all of my projects to be on the safe side. Then finally the preparation of packing and we were supposed to do a lot of shopping (my mother) there so we took a little with us.
12th – 15th January, 2024
At night we reached the station and started the journey and on 13th January we reached Ahmedabad and were welcomed by a winter that we didn’t get where we live. We Indians have that thing wherever we go we have to have tea so we have a cup of tea to soothe our souls and proceed to the place where we all will be living for the next 3 days. The place is just beautiful and calming and where we stayed every day all around the place there is a market of clothes and vegetables which makes it more lively. We all enjoyed every second of living there since the atmosphere and people were so friendly and lively. We all visited some of the famous places and got to know the history behind them. Ahmedabad has such a historical culture from food to places everywhere you will find yourself surrounded by heritage. Also, the second you look up to the sky the flocks of birds just pass through you and huge flocks of birds fly together it was just beautiful to watch. And also where we were living there was the airport close by so I saw many aeroplanes up close with my bare eyes and it just felt like a special memory that I will hold forever.
If you know me you know I LOVE FOOD, and I really wanted to try authentic Gujarati dishes, and I did and loved it. It was refreshing to try something different and delicious. Then comes the part in which I have a hate relationship with shopping. My other family members shopped a lot and I have this book lover thing in me that wherever I visit I look at if there is any book market near the place and same I did and found a book market so on the last day since we already had a handful of luggage I just bought three books and I am grateful for it. The weather and the foreignness of the sweater on my body were so much appreciated by me.
The trip was great and fun we all laughed a lot and I even learned some Gujarati words. It was refreshing that in three days we all did so many great things. With the right people even the wrong time becomes right. I never knew taking a trip, even a small one, was so easy only when you have the right people and the attitude of just doing it.
If you never go, you will never know.
Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.
You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
It is really dangerous when you start to feel, and it is more difficult when you don’t know what are you feeling and why are you feeling? I was never good at handling my feelings because I didn’t know how to. As an adult, it is so much that with our own feelings, we have to look at what others feel too, how brutal is that. Here I can’t even deal with managing mine yet, I have to care about others as well, funny isn’t it? Now that I am writing about this post my feelings are all over the place, and I am unable to figure out what actually is happening to me. However, in my course of going through so many feelings, I have realised that you just need to give time that is what I have done and will be doing. You are mistaken if you think that feelings are always about the present or the future no absolutely not it’s about the past that comes crashing down on you. Past feelings and how much regret we have is another kind of inner battle we have to deal with every single night. Sometimes the wound is so deep that it doesn’t even heal physically. Have you ever done just opening up the window and staring right at the moon closing your eyes and just thinking about what is happening to you? Even though the wind is blowing around you and you have plenty of space to breathe, something is suffocating you and the worst is that you don’t know what is suffocating you.
But at the same time when you open your eyes, you see how beautiful the moon is amidst the dark night which everyone is afraid of. But remember the moon and stars will not shine if there is no darkness. Everyone is afraid of darkness but forget once they see how beautiful it makes the world. Just like that if your life is not going great that doesn’t mean nothing will fall in place remember moon also has to go through phases just so that it can be whole and more beautiful.
everyone has a chapter that they don’t read out loud.
Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.
“Don’t ever feel bad for making a decision that upsets other people. You are not responsible for their happiness. You are responsible for your happiness.”
1. Don’t feel guilty about choosing yourself. There is no one in the world who can understand you better than you. Being selfish for yourself is not at all bad but it’s crucial for you, for your growth and your happiness.
2. Don’t feel guilty for standing up for yourself. This is one of the problems that I have also dealt with. While standing up for myself and speaking for myself with someone close to me, I do feel guilty but it is important so that you can show others that you are not someone they can step upon. Stand up for yourself, only you can do that and don’t ever feel bad, it’s important to have respect for yourself.
3. Don’t feel guilty about letting go and moving on. I have talked about this in my previous posts. Letting go is important because people who don’t treat you well, will not treat you better if you will work harder. If they don’t care for you then, they will never do it now. Move on from the past, from the people who are best to forget.
4. Don’t feel guilty for accepting the appreciation. If you are good at it then you are. It’s the end of the discussion. Just take the compliment, people gracefully;)
5. Don’t feel guilty for choosing your happiness. You know a time comes when you just have to be selfish for yourself, you are done being selfless. Fight for your happiness and do what makes you happy. I know it’s so hard to make people understand that they are not living your life but you are so happiness should come to you not them. You are not responsible for their happiness but you are responsible for yours.
6. Don’t feel guilty about taking a break. It’s okay to be behind and it’s okay if someday you don’t feel like getting up. You are just preparing to bounce forward hard.
7. Don’t feel guilty for saying no to things that don’t feel good to you. Just because someone else likes it doesn’t mean it will be the same to you and it’s okay. Everyone is different and you should have the courage to say no to things that your guts feel are not for you.
be obsessed with yourself, people.
Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.
Why is it so hard to accept rejection and why is it so hard to accept reality? Everything in life is chaos and our mind plays the biggest reason for it. I know how much I think about the future or even the next day, nothing happens, it’s just my thoughts that keep me awake at night. I am not at all an overthinking person, but adult life has made me engage in it for a while now. I never understood people who do overthinking, and say it’s so dangerous. Now I know why it is dangerous. I have learned the hard way that accepting reality is one of the important things you can do to live a peaceful life. There are things in life that are inevitable that cannot be changed and you have only two options. First, let yourself sink in the things that happen and dwell but nothing is going to change. The second one lets your mind accept that it happened now you have to move on. In life, things are going to happen, it’s compulsory to us, it is inevitable we can’t change them but we have to learn how to accept it. The attitude of saying, ‘Yes it happened now, I should not dwell on it and let’s look at the next move.’ Pain is inevitable and it will come back at every interval if people keep suffering for everything then what will happen, you can’t even imagine it. Keep the attitude of thinking about yourself, and give yourself the determination that you are going to live this life however you want. Rejections and failures are inevitable, it is going to come how much you will try to escape it. So be smart, accept those things and work your way to achieve the life you deserve, because life has moments that are inevitable.
Change is inevitable.
Even is you’re not ready for it.
Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.
Some people are committed to misunderstand you. Let them. Focus on yourself and only yourself.
It has been such a thing around us about how you should be able to make everyone happy and do things that people expect you to do. A long time ago, I learned how hard it is to be quiet when you want to say something but at the same time, it taught me how much peace it brings to my mind. Because you can’t make people understand if they don’t want to understand. We are so used to seeing opinions about ourselves from the eyes of others. Still, some people make others feel that their opinion about them is right. At the adult age, you will understand that you can’t make people see you how you want them to. Everyone you will meet has their opinion about you maybe it’s good or maybe it’s not your business because you should never give anyone a chance to give an opinion about yourself. What goes inside your mind only you know. And sometimes it’s very hard to make people understand that you don’t need advice for it. It’s not always that one needs advice but an assurance that mistakes happen and it’s not the end of the world. You don’t need to change yourself for others, to fit in their category of opinion about you. I know it hurts when nobody believes in you, and I won’t say it gets easier as you move on. But trust your instinct people are always going to say something about you, it’s you who need to make a goal to not care about other and remembers that there are things you can’t make people understand. Because people don’t know why we are having such a hard time, or why we are struggling so much, and there’s no one who can understand.
Don’t change yourself for someone who don’t understand you.
Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.
You are something new in this world. Be Glad of it. Make the most of what nature gave you. You can paint only what you are. You can sing only what you are. You must be what your experiences, your environment, and your heredity have made you. For better or for worse, you must cultivate your own little garden. For better or for worse, you must play your own little instrument in the orchestra of life.
How to stop worrying and start living by Dale Carnegie.
Life becomes tougher when within the cracks we have to find ourselves where in this world there are so many shades of people that already exist. I have grown up hearing that there is absolutely no one like me in this world but sometimes we just want to accept the otherwise. The uniqueness you have, the power you have, the heart you have, and the soul you have nobody has like yours. So why not make it more unique by working on yourself rather than looking to be someone else who you are not? Since you are born or before that, there is no one like you and are something new to this world, something that you are going to add will be new, not even similar but something new. There are a lot of people residing in this world, and everyone is different not only in their physical attributes but also in the way they think and do things. What I have noticed is that it is not our fault because the world just doesn’t let us be ourselves, they just don’t want to let us be something unique because people have that mindset that if something is unique then it’s not worthy. But they forget not everyone has the guts to show their real selves because the power each one of them has is unimaginable so when everyone starts to show how powerful they are within themselves the world is definitely going to change.
Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life, find yourself and only you can do that, you are the owner of your life, your life has been given to you so make it however you want to, once you understand yourself what you truly want there is nothing in this world that is going to stop you. Everyone is going to Ieave you but you and your shadow were, are and will always be there so why not make it the best weapon for yourself and no matter what happens, always be YOURSELF!
In the end, you only have yourself.
Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.
I am still learning how to go back & reread my own chapters without feeling like I want to set all my pages on fire.
E.V. Rogina.
Yesterday I went shopping with my mom and aunt and let me tell you I hated it so much. Like I don’t know what to do and what I like. I was just standing in the corner surrounded by so many people as they were finding clothes they like. And in the corner, I was there, staring at the space lost in my world and if someone saw me they would think and know how disinterested I am. Another thing I realized is how so many people were there with me and I don’t know anything about them why they are shopping and what is going on in their minds yet we are at the same place fighting to get the best piece. Life has truly become a race we all fight to get the best for us but the sad thing is only a few can do so. In the competition, so many people come and each one in their mind has that, in the end, they will see themselves with a trophy but at the same time, all of them know only one will be able to achieve it. It’s true you don’t know what goes inside the mind of the person sitting beside you be it your friends or someone random but at certain places where you encounter people you do know what’s going on inside their mind. Whenever we want to do something we always think about what people are going to say about that or what is their opinion but trust me everyone is so busy dealing with their own problem and fighting the race to win they don’t even care what you do and what is their opinion about you. We always let our minds bully us, we just think about other opinions about us and all but the truth is nobody cares what you do and what you want to do. Some people who are insecure about themselves and who want to be in your place are the ones who will spread hate about you but you need to learn that in the end, you are what matters only you. The truth is sometimes amidst the crowd you just have to walk away and not let the crowd sink you in and try to find out the way that works out for you. It’s not always that you need to follow the crowd, sometimes the crowd is there to tangle you in the mess and confuse you but also it teaches you things you need to realize.
Fun fact: I wrote this post while standing in the corner lost in my world;)
you do not just wake up and become the butterfly
– growth is a process
Till we meet again, Be Happy, Be Grateful, and Keep Smiling – a girl who likes to write.
A girl who likes to write 